tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41854697754840746492024-03-18T21:47:55.207-05:00BPDFamily VideoSupport group for family members of those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder We help members improve their relationships with loved ones, exit abusive relationships, and work to live more fulfilling lives. We help members improve their relationships with loved ones, exit abusive relationships, and work to live more fulfilling lives. BPDFamily is a non-profit, co-op of 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-48466071073787080202017-09-12T09:30:00.000-05:002017-09-15T12:00:53.391-05:00Borderline Personality - A View From Inside<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rZdjbLFPr5k" width="100%"></iframe>
"I am borderline" is a short film staring Danielle Keaton about borderline personality disorder from the inside. This short film (4:35 minutes) was written and directed Betsy Usher in Los Angles. The film offers a realistic portrayal of the internal conflict of a person with borderline personality disorder or traits traits of worldwide slots. The film opens with the voice over; <br />
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<i>"It feels like you aren't living at all, or you're possibly too alive. You're a person that feels the highest of highs and the lowest of low. You're usually triggered by small things, the way a person looks to watch..." </i><br />
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The film is part of a campaign created By Betsy Usher (pictured at the bottom) to help reduce misconceptions and the stigma of BPD. Another part if this campaign asks individuals who identify with the BPD diagnosis to post pictures of themselves online showing all of the other talents, labels, and thoughts about who they are (e.g. "I am a teacher").<br />
<br />
Usher has her doctorate in clinical psychology (PsyD). She studied Borderline Personality Disorder at California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant University. She also attended California State University, Northridge and CSPP/Alliant International University at Alliant University.<br />
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The film finished first place in the month of June 2016, winning the monthly "Art with Impact" given by artwithimpact.org, a non-profit organization encouraging the production of short films based on mental health issues. The organization is sponsored under the California Mental Health Services Act, and by The National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) , Pacific Blue Cross Community Connection Health Foundation, and others.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-74184626593390487512016-07-18T07:57:00.000-05:002017-09-15T12:02:13.825-05:00What is a Personality Disorder?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Perhaps you suspect that your loved one has a "personality disorder". Perhaps someone has told you that they think that <i> you </i> have a "personality disorder". You may not know what they are talking about. So what is it?<br />
<br />
<b>Definition</b>: Personality disorders represent the failure to develop a sense of self-identity and the capacity for interpersonal functioning that are adaptive in the context of the individual’s cultural norms and expectations. <br />
<br />
<b>A. Adaptive failure is manifested in <span style="text-decoration: underline;">one or both</span> of the following areas:</b><br />
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;">1. Impaired sense of self-identity as evidenced by one or more of the following:</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li>Identity integration. Poorly integrated sense of self or identity (e.g., limited sense of personal unity and continuity; experiences shifting self-states; believes that the self presented to the world is a façade)</li>
<li>Integrity of self-concept. Impoverished and poorly differentiated sense of self or identity (e.g., difficulty identifying and describing self attributes; sense of inner emptiness; poorly delineated interpersonal boundaries; definition of the self changes with social context)</li>
<li>Self-directedness. Low self-directedness (e.g., unable to set and attain satisfying and rewarding personal goals; lacks direction, meaning, and purpose to life)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;">2. Failure to develop effective interpersonal functioning as manifested by one or more of the following:</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li>Empathy. Impaired empathic and reflective capacity (e.g., finds it difficult to understand the mental states of others)</li>
<li>Intimacy. Impaired capacity for close relationships (e.g., unable to establish or maintain closeness and intimacy; inability to function as an effective attachment figure; inability to establish and maintain friendships)</li>
<li>Cooperativeness. Failure to develop the capacity for prosocial behavior (e.g., failure to develop the capacity for socially typical moral behavior; absence of altruism)</li>
<li>Complexity and integration of representations of others. Poorly integrated representations of others (e.g., forms separate and poorly related images of significant others)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>B. Adaptive failure is associated with extreme levels of one or more personality traits. </b><br />
<br />
<b>C. Adaptive failure is relatively stable across time and consistent across situations with an onset that can be traced back at least to adolescence. </b><br />
<br />
<b>D. Adaptive failure is not solely explained as a manifestation or consequence of another mental disorder </b><br />
<br />
<b>E. Adaptive failure is not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma)</b><br />
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Looking at this more broadly:<a href="http://http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder" target="_blank"></a> <br />
<blockquote>
"Personality disorder, formerly referred to as a Character Disorder, is a class of mental disorders characterized by <b>rigid and on-going patterns of thought and action. </b> .... The <b>inflexibility and pervasiveness</b> of these behavioral patterns often cause serious personal and social difficulties, as well as a general functional impairment.<br />
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Personality disorders are defined by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) as <b>"an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly</b> from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it". These patterns, as noted, are inflexible and pervasive across many situations...(and) perceived to be appropriate by that individual. The onset of these patterns of behavior can typically be traced back to late adolescence and the beginning of adulthood, and, in rare instances, childhood."<br />
<br /></blockquote>
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, defines ten specific personality disorders, one of which is "borderline personality disorder". <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;">The current system (DSM - IV) lists 10 personality disorders organized in 3 "clusters </span></span><br />
<blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;">Cluster A (odd or eccentric)</span></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> 301.0 Paranoid personality disorder</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;">301.20 Schizoid personality disorder</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> 301.22 Schizotypal personality disorder</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> Cluster B (dramatic, emotional, or erratic)</span></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> 301.7 Antisocial personality disorder</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> 301.83 Borderline personality disorder</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> 301.50 Histrionic personality disorder</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;">301.81 Narcissistic personality disorder</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> Cluster C (anxious or fearful)</span></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> 301.82 Avoidant personality disorder</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;"> 301.6 Dependent personality disorder</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 1.3em;">301.4 Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder</span></span></li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
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The APA is also proposing a consolidation into 5 subtypes:<br />
<ul>
<li>Borderline, </li>
<li>Antisocial/psychopathic (possibly with subtypes), </li>
<li>Schizotypal, </li>
<li>Avoidant, and </li>
<li>Obsessive-compulsive.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li> </li>
</ul>
If you have a loved one that seems to be suffering from borderline personality disorder, please visit <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0" target="_blank">BPDfamily.com</a> . We will welcome you warmly! If you believe that <u><b>you have</b></u> borderline personality disorder, check <a href="http://bpdresources.net/best_support_groups/resources_bpd.htm" target="_blank">here</a> for resources to help you.<br />
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Author: SkipUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-84458986546496233822015-02-09T08:06:00.000-06:002016-08-08T14:51:20.540-05:0085% of pwBPD Go Into Remission<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4_62ialOIJmUZIxSUHujt4CjD88t1DCZ5cCR-ZX2cChANmVZBVHFTBHL-s2M5BCPnmZIU2H1igQQUxnFAh_UeD_EEbJPdAMAB840KZUNt3EKibdbMqBx9BJ-i7_DhlYJRA8W6I5IcHPnn/s1600/doctor-patient+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4_62ialOIJmUZIxSUHujt4CjD88t1DCZ5cCR-ZX2cChANmVZBVHFTBHL-s2M5BCPnmZIU2H1igQQUxnFAh_UeD_EEbJPdAMAB840KZUNt3EKibdbMqBx9BJ-i7_DhlYJRA8W6I5IcHPnn/s320/doctor-patient+%25281%2529.jpg" width="250" /></a>Although borderline personality disorder (BPD) has traditionally been considered a chronic and intractable disease, it is has high remission and low relapse rates, new research suggests.<br />
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<b>Collaborative Longitudinal Personality Disorders Study</b><br />
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In the latest findings from the Collaborative Longitudinal Personality Disorders Study (CLPS), 85% of participants with BPD remitted during 10 years of follow-up. In addition, only 11% of these relapsed — which was significantly lower than for participants with major depressive disorder (MDD) and a group consisting of cluster C personality disorders.<br />
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However, those with BPD had significantly more social dysfunction than the other 2 groups.<br />
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<i>"We found that [BPD] psychopathology, which has not really been adequately studied before, improves more than generally expected, and once it remits, it usually stays remitted. Not many psychiatric disorders can claim that," </i>lead study author John G. Gunderson, MD, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and director of the McLean Center for the Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder, Belmont, Massachusetts, told Medscape Medical News.<br />
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<i>"It was also amazing that this was found without treatment designed specifically for this disorder. So this is really not an effect of treatment but a statement about its natural course," </i>said Dr. Gunderson.<br />
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The study was published online April 4 in Archives of General Psychiatry.<br />
http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/archgenpsychiatry.2011.37 <br />
<br />
In "the only other 10-year prospective study of BPD," reported on last year by Medscape Medical News, coinvestigator Mary Zanarini, EdD, also from McLean Hospital, and colleagues found that many (but not all) patients with BPD got better with time.<br />
<br />
<b>Attitude Adjustment</b><br />
<br />
He noted that a change in attitude is now needed because most have typically thought these are people who have chronic disease and are considered "frequent flyers" because of their many hospitalizations and emergency department visits.<br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>"A small minority of patients that conform to that characterization has given the whole group a bad name. But for clinicians to realize most of these patients will get better makes it much less pejorative, and they can take a lot more pride in even short-term interventions that may make a lasting difference."</i><br />
<br />
<b>Psychosocial Functioning Often Remains Severely Impaired</b><br />
<br />
<i> </i>Dr. Gunderson pointed out, though, that psychosocial functioning for these patients often remains severely impaired.<br />
<br />
<i>"One of the implications of that is that we need to try to help borderline patients with their social adjustment, such as getting a job or joining social organizations. So it moves treatment away from just symptom remission to social rehabilitation."</i><br />
<br />
<i>"Despite the high prevalence of BPD in psychiatric facilities, attention to BPD remains woefully low relative to that paid to other major psychiatric disorders. Indeed, the diagnosis is underused and most mental healthcare professionals avoid or actively dislike patients with BPD,"</i> write the investigators.<br />
<br />
In addition, past BPD research has mainly consisted of either short-term prospective or long-term retrospective studies or were conducted before 1995, they report.<br />
<br />
In addition to using different methods, Dr. Gunderson said that his team sought to examine both the psychopathology of BPD and its associated social dysfunction.<br />
<br />
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</div>
"Their study looked at 1- or 2-year increments, whereas we looked at small intervals of change. We used measures that allowed us to look at month-by-month changes, which is important in terms of 'what predicts change' and 'what changes predict other changes,'" he explained.<br />
<br />
"We also had comparison groups made up of specific forms of personality disorders that were matched demographically. And whereas the other study had a population of all inpatients at McLean, ours was much more demographically representative of a clinical community."<br />
<br />
The investigators evaluated data on patients between the ages of 18 and 45 years who participated in CLPS at 1 of 19 clinical sites in the northeastern region of the United States.<br />
<br />
For this analysis, the investigators assessed 3 subgroups of patients: those diagnosed as having BPD (n = 175), those with MDD (n = 95), and those with either avoidant personality disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder (cluster C group, n = 312).<br />
<br />
Criteria and changes in disorders were assessed with several measures, including the Diagnostic Interview for Personality Disorders from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), the Structural Clinical Interview for DSM-IV Axis I Disorders, the Longitudinal Interval Follow-up Evaluation, and the Global Assessment of Functioning (GAF) scale for up to 10 years.<br />
<br />
<b>High Remission, Low Relapse</b><br />
<br />
Results showed that 66% of the participants completed all 10 years of follow-up, including 111 of those with BPD, 211 of those in the cluster C group, and 62 of those with MDD.<br />
<br />
"While the overall rates of remission at 10 years were high for all 3 diagnostic study groups, the time to remission for BPD was significantly longer than for MDD (P < .001) but only minimally longer for cluster C (P = .03)," report the researchers. However, the 11% relapse rate for the group with BPD was significantly less frequent and slower than for both the MDD (P < .001) and cluster C groups (P = .008). BPD relapses "largely occurred in the first 4 years before leveling off," write the investigators, adding that only 9% of the BPD patients "remained stable disordered" (defined as meeting ≥5 disorder diagnostic criteria) at the 10-year mark. GAF scores showed severe impairment for those with BPD and "only modest albeit statistically significant" improvements. These patients also remained statistically more socially dysfunctional during the 10-year period than the other 2 groups (P < .001). Finally, criteria reductions significantly predicted subsequent improvements in GAF scores (P < .001). These results "are consistent with the theory that if patients with BPD can achieve stable supports and avoid interpersonal stressors they will remit clinically," write the investigators. "The low relapse rate suggests that during the remission process, the patients changed either psychologically, perhaps having acquired more resiliency or new adaptive skills, or situationally by attaining more supports or less stress," they add. Dr. Gunderson said there is now a real need for "more practical" BPD treatments. "We can see that they don't need to be long term and intensive to be helpful. But we do need them to be more focused on social rehabilitation." The study was funded by grants from the National Institute of Mental Health. The study authors have disclosed no relevant financial relationships. Arch Gen Psychiatry. Published online April 4, 2011. AbstractUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-20615048287900489362015-02-05T06:00:00.000-06:002016-08-08T14:21:28.953-05:00The Importance of Empathy Skills when Supporting a Person with BPD<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/qR-FUjk3U28?autoplay=1&rel=0&start=64&end=263&version=3" width="100%"></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Empathy is the experience of understanding another person's condition from their perspective. You effectively place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling.</i></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR6HtcwCH8eO5Zh-UTJRthOvsUGWso4UwL8iabxM_utObvZBK8gv06fGmk9jhvVWE4d_RBH63KdHDFQf3QduPQmAyf9KzvbY8IChlapGy41jakFutAmcqpbABdL7YPZ9r7cC71xuJ3gJxD/s1600/Screen+shot+2015-02-16+at+2.24.48+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR6HtcwCH8eO5Zh-UTJRthOvsUGWso4UwL8iabxM_utObvZBK8gv06fGmk9jhvVWE4d_RBH63KdHDFQf3QduPQmAyf9KzvbY8IChlapGy41jakFutAmcqpbABdL7YPZ9r7cC71xuJ3gJxD/s1600/Screen+shot+2015-02-16+at+2.24.48+AM.png" width="250" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=210574.msg12327013#msg12327013" target="_blank">Participate in Member Workshop</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When someone asks what is the most important tool for supporting a loved one with borderline personality disorder, I say "<i>empathy</i>". I typically follow with "and many of us over estimate our own empathy skills".<br />
<br />
What is empathy? <br />
<br />
It is often confused with sympathy. Empathy it is distinctly different. Empathy is the experience of understanding another person's condition from their perspective. You effectively place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling. Seeing things from another person's perspective isn't simply understanding their point <br />
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of view -- it extends to understanding, without disclaimers, why they feel their point of view is just and appropriate and honest.<br />
<br />
So, when your child returns from a therapy appointment and proclaims "<i>I really like this one</i>", it's most likely related to the therapist's ability to empathize and communicate it. We will not be able to motivate, coach, lead or redirect anyone without having this knowledge, too.<br />
<br />
When Perry Hoffman (Harvard) conducted a study to determine the predictors of BPD patient recovery, the researchers found the #1 predictor to be the presence of a caring and empathetic person in the patient's life. They were surprised with this #1 rating.<br />
<br />
It is also interesting that the architects of the DSM 5 proposed that a personality disorder be diagnosed when a person has diminished skills in two of the following -- either "<i>empathy or intimacy</i>" and either "<i>identity or self direction</i>". This raises two practical issues for us. First, our loved one may very well have impaired empathy skills and so we don't want to mirror that back as a way to "<i>teach them a lesson</i>". Secondly, if we are supporting a BPD child, it is important to remember that BPD traits tend to run in families and we may have had a parent that wasn't very empathetic and in turn, we didn't develop effective empathy skills ourselves. As such, we may have to become very deliberate in developing empathy skills now and seek the advice of others to help us to better "<i>step in the shoes</i>" of our child.<br />
<br />
The five levels of empathy proposed by the DSM 5 architects are <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=210574.msg12327013#msg12327013" target="_blank">listed here</a>. Want to know where you stand? Ask someone very close to you - ask your children - don't make a self-assessment.<br />
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Helping each other to grow to be more empathetic is one very important way we help each other at BPDFamily.com.<br />
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Author: Skip<br />
Video Short: Scott Peck<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Scott Peck earned his Masters Degree in Education and
Doctorate in Divinity and has worked professionally as an educator,
national advertising manager, reporter, photographer, copywriter,
& real estate broker. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-9994181528893549512013-05-06T06:00:00.000-05:002016-08-08T14:22:15.282-05:00What Does Recovery Look Like?<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Trying to determine if someone in your life suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and what can be done about it? You will soon find out that this is a complex question.</i></span><br />
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When in the midst of a relationship with
the person who may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder,
it can feel like there are more questions then there are answers. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #182638; font-size: small;">This documentary video takes an in-depth look at the disorder. It not only includes three individual sufferers perspective, including Kiera Van Gelder author of The Buddha and the Borderline, but also from their family members as well. They discuss an array of issues including the confusion within the symptoms, angry outbursts, isolation, cutting, suicidal ideation, self destructiveness, and the misconceptions surrounding the behaviors in response to the intense emotions. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #182638; font-size: small;">The documentary also features leading experts in the field of Borderline Personality Disorder, Dr. John Gunderson, Dr. Marsha Linehan, and Dr. Perry Hoffman, discussing behaviors, clinical diagnosis, and treatments. Their commentary bringing a greater understanding of the disorder but also a message of hope. There is treatment. There are tools out there for family members. There are answers and solutions.
The first step is knowing that what is going on in a Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer's mind and how they are acting can be two entirely different things. There are
no simple behavioral checklists; no definitive tests. Identifying
Borderline Personality Disorder requires having a working knowledge of
the disorder and some insight into the past life of the person in
question. </span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #182638; font-size: small;">Borderline Personality Disorder is a disorder of the emotions. Imagine a
person who is extremely sensitive to rejection (fearful of even
perceived or anticipated rejection) and has a limited ability to regulate their emotional impulses (love, fear, anger, grief, etc.). To
protect themselves from their own feelings, they are prone to adopt a
multitude of dysfunctional rationalizations and cover-ups.</span><span style="color: #182638; font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #182638; font-size: small;">For
example, a person suffering from BPD may so fear rejection in a new relationship that they recreate themselves in the image of a person they
believe would be lovable. When the negative emotions for making such a
sacrifice surface - and not having the ability to modulate them, they
lash out at the target of their affections for "making them do it" -
rather than face their own feelings of inadequacy / fear of rejection,
ultimately damaging the relationship they so fear losing, and
reinforcing their feelings of inadequacy / fear of rejection.</span><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
For more information or to register, please click here. <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a><br />
<br />
Author: DreamGirlUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-48077754433690866982013-02-04T07:00:00.000-06:002017-09-15T06:27:07.454-05:00Adolescence and Borderline Personality<br />
<video autoplay controls="controls" width= "100%" height= "30%" name="Adolescence and Borderline Personality" src="https://bpdfamily.com/audio/aguirre.mp4"></video>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>What is the difference between otherwise normal adolescence behavior
and adolescence behavior associated with Borderline Personality
Disorder?</i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBrS_xafJHh6DOFpouTY77icoXY4Opq7R1ZHE8fHdvTWXcM9SN-M9GZnz7CZipe_zCJCp1-0Z-zoQnEs0gyc0FFAHeCqr1txdc5P8xt2anleJ25ZZvtQwMpLAbj45D5OuLDeQFKqbXPA5X/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-05-31+at+3.36.10+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBrS_xafJHh6DOFpouTY77icoXY4Opq7R1ZHE8fHdvTWXcM9SN-M9GZnz7CZipe_zCJCp1-0Z-zoQnEs0gyc0FFAHeCqr1txdc5P8xt2anleJ25ZZvtQwMpLAbj45D5OuLDeQFKqbXPA5X/s200/Screen+shot+2013-05-31+at+3.36.10+PM.png" width="250" /></a></div>
Borderline Personality Disorder is not often diagnosed in adolescence, however adult patients with this diagnosis often explain that symptoms
began in early childhood. <br />
<br />
The behavior can include extreme sexual activity, utilizing drugs, engaging in impulsive and risky
activities (i.e. driving too fast, stealing) – according to Dr.
Blaise Aguirre the difference lies in the <span style="text-decoration: underline;">functionality</span>
of the behavior, being that the function of one is typical and the
other’s function is mostly to help regulate the emotion(s) of the child
in the moment [suffering from BPD]. <br />
<br />
Blaisse Aguirre, M.D.,
discusses in this video how to recognize the difference and how
to better understand the purpose behind it. He addresses in depth the
criteria needed to diagnose BPD according to the current DSM and uses
specific examples for younger children that gives a better understanding
to the behavior that leads to diagnosis. It is a must see for any
parent or family member who is raising a child who may (or may not be)
suffering from BPD.<br />
<br />
Dr. Aguirre is an expert in child, adolescent and adult psychotherapy,
including dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and psychopharmacology. He
is the founding medical director of <i><a href="http://www.mclean.harvard.edu/patient/child/atp.php" target="_blank">3East</a></i>
at Harvard - affiliated McLean Hospital, a unique, residential DBT
program for young women exhibiting self-endangering behaviors and
borderline personality traits (BPD). Dr. Aguirre has been a staff
psychiatrist at McLean since 2000 and is nationally and internationally
recognized for his extensive work in the treatment of mood and
personality disorders in adolescents. He lectures regularly in Europe,
Africa and The Middle East on BPD and DBT.<br />
<br />
Author: DreamGirl Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-83548090468158503822013-01-07T07:30:00.000-06:002016-08-08T14:23:08.309-05:00Avoid Creating an Invalidating Home<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/EDSIYTQX_dk?rel=0&autoplay=1" width="100%"></iframe><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoRlKCVymHEg7u8wiB0Pu7u_VzC6erDKoKdl7T5LuFYFDC4PAJHar6Wak-4Xvx9jH0MBC9Bai_J_jZozqSBpZ72HQV3svXeqzqwgsw5pAWc8dBRU2QLDU8cX9kxhyphenhyphenS2Fp-J6IXGjLaF0jT/s1600/Screen+shot+2015-02-16+at+1.27.51+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoRlKCVymHEg7u8wiB0Pu7u_VzC6erDKoKdl7T5LuFYFDC4PAJHar6Wak-4Xvx9jH0MBC9Bai_J_jZozqSBpZ72HQV3svXeqzqwgsw5pAWc8dBRU2QLDU8cX9kxhyphenhyphenS2Fp-J6IXGjLaF0jT/s1600/Screen+shot+2015-02-16+at+1.27.51+AM.png" width="250" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In his talk </span><span style="font-size: small;">on October 18, 2008 in Minneapolis, MN, Alan </span><span style="font-size: small;">Fruzzetti, Ph.D. explores
what it means to give someone a validating response rather than an
invalidating response
and how </span><span style="font-size: small;">validating responses can be used to help a person with high levels of emotional arousal more constructively process their feelings, </span><span style="font-size: small;">emotional dysregulation or personal chaos.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In this video, </span><span style="font-size: small;">Dr. </span><span style="font-size: small;">Fruzzetti explains the fine art of "validating" and shows us how easy it is to be invalidating<span style="font-size: small;">. He explains<span style="font-size: small;"> that i</span></span>nvalidation is not necessarily abusive, mean, neglectful,
uncaring or dyfun<span style="font-size: small;">c</span>tional - it can be caring and well intended - but painful nonetheless. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dr. Fruzzetti </span><span style="font-size: small;">recommends that </span>families of a person with BPD also be in therapy as (1)
it’s very stressful to have a loved one in emotional chaos and (2) it benefits the person with BPD when the
family is part of the solution.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: blue;"> </span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Alan
E. Fruzzetti, Ph.D. is associate professor of psychology and director
of the DBT Therapy and Research Program at the University of Nevada and Research Advisor Member of the Board of Directors of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEA-BPD). </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Author: </span><span style="font-size: small;">Vivekananda </span></span><!-----Enter message text above this line--------->
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-39522342864040583532012-09-10T06:10:00.000-05:002017-01-31T07:33:33.543-06:00Does the expression "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" remind you of your spouse or partner?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPY51SChEVfVVaeZ9OxMC-M-Cyr57UU4D6Z7X6EiKaDk1bKEwWvZRBkOgpBFuCnxWHQiqoqohncFJ1wBSm_XsQ9gkwfCzMKrsqY6rgHHBTcGMAYCj0Tj_2scgm7-UoeF6dQ4s2vFoWjZci/s1600/Jekyll-Hyde.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPY51SChEVfVVaeZ9OxMC-M-Cyr57UU4D6Z7X6EiKaDk1bKEwWvZRBkOgpBFuCnxWHQiqoqohncFJ1wBSm_XsQ9gkwfCzMKrsqY6rgHHBTcGMAYCj0Tj_2scgm7-UoeF6dQ4s2vFoWjZci/s320/Jekyll-Hyde.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
A member at BPDfamily.com , writes: "I thought I was with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." In the 1931 film adaptation, of Robert Louis Stevenson's novel, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Dr. Jekyll believes good and evil exist in everyone. Experiments reveal his evil side, named Hyde. Experience teaches him how to hide how evil "Hyde" can be.<br /><br />Does the expression "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" remind you of your spouse or partner, too? Have you ever thought that they were two different people - one minute they are the greatest, most kind and affectionate partner, and then suddenly an awful, mean, frightening person?<br /><br />How could someone so good, turn around and become so bad, then flip back to again? You may be dealing with someone with a personality disorder or a mood disorder like Borderline personality disorder (BPD).<br /><br />Borderline personality disorder is also known as Emotional Dysregulation Disorder, and is often misdiagnosed as Bipolar disorder, depression, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For example a study by researchers at the University of North Texas and Brown University found that nearly 40% of people with BPD in the study sample had previously received a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder. <br /><br />I Hate You, Don't Leave Me<br /><br />"I hate you, don't leave me", the title of Jerold Kreisman's (MD) 1991 book describing Borderline personality disorder has become a a widely accepted short description of the disorder. What to know more? Take a look at this video on the symptoms of the symptoms of Borderline personality disorder.<br /><br />The BPDfamily.com site contain many articles and information about both Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder and has members available 24 a day to answer your questions. If you are struggling with a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde relationship, BPDfamily may be a good resource for you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-58603938656376277262012-06-21T04:09:00.000-05:002016-08-08T14:24:10.347-05:00Why Breaking-up is Hard to Do<br />
<b>The Biology of Breaking Up</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdEbtiltgirPUsgNPejtlNGd4xbc4-VcwXhtqpOALPCm9ETKiF6QKqgsfIlKng8q0sjGdoiWvb8wJBicyfqb_8OGp6YoORDNwVbPW0cP1DHfqOJt7OcbtFhf1A8voPrvaMJh15CGpEIQxB/s1600/th.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdEbtiltgirPUsgNPejtlNGd4xbc4-VcwXhtqpOALPCm9ETKiF6QKqgsfIlKng8q0sjGdoiWvb8wJBicyfqb_8OGp6YoORDNwVbPW0cP1DHfqOJt7OcbtFhf1A8voPrvaMJh15CGpEIQxB/s400/th.jpg" width="320" /></a>Our brains are wired for bonding. Break-ups challenge us biologically. According to Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, everyone biologically reacts to rejection in a way similar to that of a drug user going through withdrawal. In the early days and weeks after a serious breakup, there are changes in the ventral tegmental area of the midbrain, which controls motivation and reward and is known to be involved in romantic love; the nucleus accumbens and the orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex, part of the dopamine reward system and associated with craving and addiction; and the insular cortex and anterior cingulate, associated with physical pain and distress.</div>
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As reported in a recent issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology, Fisher studied 15 people who had just experienced romantic rejection, put them in an fMRI machine, and had them look at two large photographs: an image of the person who had just dumped them and an image of a neutral person to whom they had no attachment. When the participants looked at the images of their rejecters, their brains shimmered like those of addicts deprived of their substance of choice.<br />
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<i>“We found activity in regions of the brain associated with cocaine and nicotine addiction,”</i> Fisher says. <i>“We also found activity in a region associated with feelings of deep attachment, and activity in a region that’s associated with pain.”</i><br />
<br />
Fisher’s work corroborates the findings of UCLA psychologist Naomi Eisenberger, who discovered that social rejection activates the same brain area—the anterior cingulate—that generates an adverse reaction to physical pain.<br />
<br />
<b>Why do some behave so badly after a breakup?
</b><br />
<br />
The intensity of the pain may be what compels some spurned lovers to do just about anything to make the hurt go away -- and that includes a host of unhealthy things ranging from demonizing their ex-partner, to excessive anger, to bashing whole groups of people. The intensity of the pain may be what compels some spurned lovers to stalk their ex-partners. Fisher believes, for example, that activation of addictive centers in response to breakups also fuels stalking behavior, explaining <i>“why the beloved is so difficult to give up.”</i><br />
<br />
<b>Attachment styles that emerge early in life also influence how people handle breakups later on
</b><br />
<br />
Biology is nowhere near the whole story. Attachment styles that emerge early in life also influence how people handle breakups later on—and how they react to them.<br />
<br />
Those with a secure attachment style—whose caregivers, by being generally responsive, instilled a sense of trust that they would always be around when needed—are most likely to approach breakups with psychological integrity. Typically, they clue their partners in about any changes in their feelings while taking care not to be hurtful.<br />
<br />
On the receiving end of a breakup, <i>“the secure person acknowledges that the loss hurts, but is sensible about it,</i>” says Phillip Shaver, a University of California, Davis psychologist who has long studied attachment behavior. <i>“They’re going to have an undeniable period of broken dreams, but they express that to a reasonable degree and then heal and move on.”</i><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG0xcwRpbTWSe7MUGwfc4jNv6laGHSNvDbO4Lw5a25SaQDeCdBzCFV1voOEHVSNcYc2wbnxQ17oQ7YI2qL4xSbWGLQfJJcSEIncBHduCHMufH8eYgTVZuiySc_2Ot5-jSTsDGUJj6zR2Qo/s1600/Alone-Sad-Girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG0xcwRpbTWSe7MUGwfc4jNv6laGHSNvDbO4Lw5a25SaQDeCdBzCFV1voOEHVSNcYc2wbnxQ17oQ7YI2qL4xSbWGLQfJJcSEIncBHduCHMufH8eYgTVZuiySc_2Ot5-jSTsDGUJj6zR2Qo/s320/Alone-Sad-Girl.jpg" width="320" /></a><b>People with inconsistent parental attention during the first years of life—are apt to try to keep a defunct relationship going rather than suffer the pain of dissolving it </b><br />
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By contrast, people who develop an anxious or insecure attachment style—typically due to inconsistent parental attention during the first years of life—are apt to try to keep a defunct relationship going rather than suffer the pain of dissolving it. <i>“The anxious person is less often the one who takes the initiative in breaking up,”</i> Shaver says. <i>“More commonly, they hang on and get more angry and intrusive.”</i>
On the receiving end of a breakup, the insecurely attached react poorly. <i>“They don’t let go,”</i> says Shaver. <i>“They’re more likely to be stalkers, and they’re more likely to end up sleeping with the old partner.”</i> Unfortnately, their defense against pain—refusing to acknowledge that the relationship is over—precludes healing. They pine on for the lost love with little hope of relief.<br />
<br />
<b>People with low self-esteem took rejection the worst: They were most likely to blame themselves for what had happened and to rail against the rejecter. </b><br />
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Whether we bounce back from a breakup or wallow in unhappiness also depends on our general self-regard. In a University of California, Santa Barbara study where participants experienced rejection in an online dating exchange, people with low self-esteem took rejection the worst: They were most likely to blame themselves for what had happened and to rail against the rejecter. Their levels of the stress hormone cortisol ran particularly high. Such reactivity to romantic rejection often creates unhealthy coping strategies—staying home alone night after night, for example, or remaining emotionally closed off from new partners.<br />
<br />
People with high self-esteem were not immune to distress in the face of romantic rejection, whether they were rejecter or rejectee, but they were less inclined to assume a lion’s share of the blame for the split. Best of all, they continued to see themselves in a positive light despite a brush-off.<br />
<br />
<b>Some helpful tips...</b><br />
<br />
1. Don’t protest a partner’s decision. The best thing a dumpee can do to speed emotional healing is to accept that the relationship has come to an unequivocal end. In her neuroimaging studies, Helen Fisher found that the withdrawal-like reaction afflicting romantic rejectees diminished with time. Start the clock working in you favor.<br />
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2. Don’t beg him or her to reconsider later on. The recovery process is fragile, says Fisher, and last-ditch attempts to make contact or win back an ex can scuttle it. <i>“If you suddenly get an email from the person, you can get right into the craving for them again.” </i>To expedite moving on, she recommends abstaining from any kind of contact with the rejecter: <i>“Throw out the cards and letters. Don’t call. And don’t try to be friends.”</i> At least for now. When you have healed, things can change.<br />
<br />
3. Resist thinking you’ve lost your one true soul mate. Don’t tell yourself you’ve lost the one person you were destined to be with forever, says Florida State University psychologist Roy Baumeister. <i>“There’s something about love that makes you think there’s only one person for you, and there’s a mythology surrounding that. But there’s nothing magical about one person.”</i> In reality, there are plenty of people with whom each of us is potentially compatible. It might be difficult to fathom in the aftermath of a breakup, but chances are you’ll find someone else.<br />
<br />
4. Don’t demonize your ex-partner. It’s a waste of your energy. And avoid plotting revenge; it will backfire by making him or her loom ever larger in your thoughts and postpone your recovery.<br />
<br />
5. Don’t try to blot out the pain you’re feeling, either. Face it head on. Short of the death of a loved one, the end of a long-term relationship is one of the most severe emotional blows you’ll ever experience. It’s perfectly normal—in fact, necessary—to spend time grieving the loss. <i>“Love makes you terribly vulnerable,”</i> John Portmann, a moral philosopher at the University of Virginia says. <i>“If you allow yourself to fall in love, you can get hurt really badly.” </i>
The sooner you face the pain, the sooner it passes.<br />
<br />
Based on: <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201012/the-thoroughly-modern-guide-breakups" target="_blank">psychologytoday.com</a><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-43036833114523889572012-03-05T06:56:00.006-06:002016-08-08T14:24:36.199-05:0028% of the US population have either a mental or addictive disorderAccording to BPDFamily.com, the US Surgeon General estimates that 28% of the US population suffer from either a mental or addictive disorder in a given year.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc6pLfjWGTM9uMrYqGjKqZ0J4ojAdkzPnryXVGOaVMGT9Qv1bSpA04IwMkeDLbSVU0VySb8tmn_aUmlHYRe-3UQnNRZIttyqPj9qd_tN2xj60caMADk_B7IkO9YmX4nQNnu9xf8K7fotxv/s1600/Live_me_Alone_-_Lion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc6pLfjWGTM9uMrYqGjKqZ0J4ojAdkzPnryXVGOaVMGT9Qv1bSpA04IwMkeDLbSVU0VySb8tmn_aUmlHYRe-3UQnNRZIttyqPj9qd_tN2xj60caMADk_B7IkO9YmX4nQNnu9xf8K7fotxv/s640/Live_me_Alone_-_Lion.jpg" width="250" /></a></div>
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The current prevalence estimate is that about 20 percent of the U.S. population are affected by mental disorders during a given year. This estimate comes from two epidemiologic surveys: the Epidemiologic Catchment Area (ECA) study of the early 1980s and the National Comorbidity Survey (NCS) of the early 1990s. Those surveys defined mental illness according to the prevailing editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The surveys estimate that during a 1-year period, 22 to 23 percent of the U.S. adult population—or 44 million people—have diagnosable mental disorders, according to reliable, established criteria.</div>
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In general, 19 percent of the adult U.S. population have a mental disorder alone (in 1 year); 3 percent have both mental and addictive disorders; and 6 percent have addictive disorders alone.3 Consequently, about 28 to 30 percent of the population have either a mental or addictive disorder (Regier et al., 1993b; Kessler et al., 1998). <br />
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Individuals with co-occurring disorders (about 3 percent of the population in 1 year) are more likely to experience a chronic course and to utilize services than are those with either type of disorder alone. <br />
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Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation. While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women. There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases. Patients often need extensive mental health services, and account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations. Yet, with help, many improve over time and are eventually able to lead productive lives. </div>
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of 55,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1994.<br />
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Author: Skip Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-43871553273384929892012-02-05T06:00:00.005-06:002016-08-08T14:25:05.362-05:00Are the Children of a BPD Parent Likely to Suffer Emotional Abuse?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>T</b></span>he short answer is "yes." Do you know a mother who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder - possibly your daughter in law - your wife - a friend? Did you know that even when the family appears to be doing well and the child appears to be overachieving, the children may be suffering psychological damage that will affect them far into adulthood.<br />
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Many BPD sufferers work very hard at being good parents. However, BPD thinking and behavior patterns can lead to problematic parenting in several ways. For instance, a BPD sufferer is prone to black and white thinking, which can lead a parent to "split" one child--or the same child at different times--as “all bad” and thus deserving of punishment and another as "all good." In "all bad" child suffers never learns human bonding. An "all good" child is not given a chance to develop a normal sense of independence and identity as the parent idealizes, rescues, or turns to the child for support. </div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">High-Risk Parenting</span></div>
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Thus, a sufferer’s ways of coping can become a source of neglect such as when addictive behaviors distract the parent, leaving the child untended or abuse, with impulsive behaviors and rages resulting in emotional and physical scars or inconsistent parenting leaving the child feeling confused and unsafe. Experts consider parents with BPD to be "high risk":</div>
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<span style="font-style: italic;">Even the act of care giving itself may trigger painful memories from the mother’s history of trauma, making it very difficult for the mother with BPD to cope with the daily challenges of parenting (Main, 1995). These triggers often cause her to engage in maladaptive, “frightened/frightening” behaviors, whereby the she is both frightening to the child and frightened herself at the same time (Holmes, 2005; Hobson, et al, 2005). In this way, mothers with BPD are often classified as “high risk” parents (Newman & Stevenson, 2005), at risk of child abuse and/or drastically overprotective behaviors.</span> (From <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/tools/articles8.htm">How a Mother with Borderline Personality Disorder Affects Her Children</a>)</div>
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A child who is faced with a frightened parent will often, in a reversal of a healthy parent-child interaction, try to provide comfort or to solve the problem for the parent. The child is parentified, trying manage situations beyond his or her maturity. At the same time, the child's own fears are not soothed. The result can be a highly anxious child who tries to be "perfect" but ultimately turns to destructive coping strategies like eating disorders, drugs, and addictive relationships to deal with buried fear and self-esteem issues.</div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">What Can a Concerned Adult Do?</span></div>
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Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other caring family members come to <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0]bpdfamily.com">Coping with Parents, Relatives, and Inlaws with BPD</a> concerned about the interactions such as these between the BPD sufferer in their life (perhaps the children's mother, father, stepfather, or stepmother) and the children. They may feel that something is wrong or they may know the actions are wrong, but they don't know how to intervene.</div>
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<a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0"><br />
BPDFamily.com</a> can provide education, support, and tools as to work toward improving the lives of the children with a parent with BPD. Members find shared ideas and resources on <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=9.0">Parenting and </a><a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=9.0">Co-Parenting</a>, along with numerous articles and workshops discussing ways of supporting kids with a BPD caregiver and effectively meeting their needs. The Parenting board is also a place to get much needed emotional support from others who really do understand the challenges of trying to offer kids the best environment possible. Depending on the relationship to the child and the severity of the problem, there is as lot a concerned adult can do, including:</div>
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<li>Ensure the child’s physical needs are being met.</li>
<li>Take the child out regularly for some “down” time.</li>
<li>Reassure the child that the mistreatment is not his/her fault.</li>
<li>Teach the child healthy coping mechanisms, like thinking of a happy place or time when things are difficult or to focusing on breathing and counting to 10 when angry.</li>
<li>Provide counseling for the parent and the child.</li>
<li>Talk—and listen—to the child.</li>
<li>Validate the child’s feelings and sense of reality. If a BPD parent says the child is “not cold” when the child has said he is freezing, say, “I think he is feeling cold. I’ll get a sweater for him.”</li>
<li>Find ways to check regularly on the child’s well being.</li>
<li>Reduce the amount of time the child spends alone with the stressed parent. Offer alternatives, such as to babysit or pay for activities.</li>
<li>Create small rituals of security and happiness. Go to a park every Saturday. Take the child grocery shopping and let her choose one small treat.</li>
<li>Remove the child to safety.</li>
<li>Call a child abuse or domestic violence hotline or 911.</li>
<li>If you are not the child’s parent, consistent with your own safety and need for boundaries, stay in the child’s life to the greatest extent possible.</li>
<li>If you are the child’s parent and you feel that you must look at all options to protect your child, consult with an experienced family law attorney and a counselor to map out a plan.</li>
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Author: BlackandWhiteUnknownnoreply@blogger.com47tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-39451463736739558452012-01-03T06:29:00.000-06:002016-08-08T01:16:20.491-05:00Is Your Marriage Breaking Down?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxAEN0YM52vr6W7IM8XngBWt7hKpZ3-hO5YhWN7Xo_ciC0gUueU-8kk53EDmEDiFo0-ri2A5icsit256CdE6c2yQCFCt3NMfQF1aOP5pBJQLFOjKLEKBT3n3M35xIvk80VlY69HwcsVwgX/s1600/is-your-marriage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxAEN0YM52vr6W7IM8XngBWt7hKpZ3-hO5YhWN7Xo_ciC0gUueU-8kk53EDmEDiFo0-ri2A5icsit256CdE6c2yQCFCt3NMfQF1aOP5pBJQLFOjKLEKBT3n3M35xIvk80VlY69HwcsVwgX/s1600/is-your-marriage.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0">BPDFamily.com </a>encourages couples to spot the classic pattern of relationship breakdown and take action before it goes too far.<br />
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According to Mark Dombeck, Ph.D., Director of Mental Help Net and former Assistant Professor of Psychology at Idaho State University, there is no single reason why a relationship begins to break down. However, once a relationship does start to break down, there is a predictable sequence of events that tends to occur. Highly regarded psychologist and researcher John Gottman, Ph.D. suggests that there are four stages to this sequence which he has labeled, <b>"The Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse"</b>.<br />
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<b>Stage One</b> The first stage of the breakdown process involves intractable conflict and complaints. All couples have conflicts from time to time, but some couples are able to resolve those conflicts successfully or 'agree to disagree', while others find that they are not. As we observed earlier, it is not the number or intensity of arguments that is problematic but rather whether or not resolution of those arguments is likely or possible. Couples that get into trouble find themselves in conflicts that they cannot resolve or compromise upon to both party's satisfaction. Such disagreements can be caused by any number of reasons, but might involve a clash of spousal values on core topics such as whether to have children, or how to handle money.<br />
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Frequently, couples assume that misunderstandings are at the root of their conflicts. <i>"If my spouse really understood why I act as I do, he or she would agree with me and go along with what I want"</i>, is a commonly overheard refrain. Acting on this belief, spouses often try to resolve their conflicts by repeatedly stating and restating their respective rationals during disagreements. This strategy of repetition usually doesn't work because most of the time couple conflicts are not based on misunderstandings, but rather on real differences in values. When this is the case, stating and restating one's position is based on a mistaken premise and can only cause further upset.<br />
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<b>Stage Two</b> In the second stage of the breakdown process, one or both spouses starts to feel contempt for the other, and each spouse's attitudes about their partner change for the worse. For example, initially each spouse may have mostly positive regard for their partner and be willing to write off any 'bad' or 'stupid' behavior their partner acts out as a transient, uncommon stress-related event. However, as 'bad' or 'stupid' behavior is observed again and again, spouses get frustrated, start to regard their partner as actually being a 'bad' or 'stupid' person, and begin to treat their partner accordingly. Importantly, the 'bad' behavior that the spouse demonstrates doesn't have to be something he or she actually does. Instead, it could be something that he or she doesn't do, that the spouse expects them to do (such as remembering to put the toilet seat down after use).<br />
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Conflict by itself doesn't predict marriage problems. Some couples fight a lot but somehow never manage to lose respect for each other. Once contempt sets in, however, the marriage is on shaky ground. Feelings of contempt for one's spouse are a powerful predictor of relationship breakdown, no matter how subtlety they are displayed. In a famous study, Gottman was able to predict with over 80% accuracy the future divorces of multiple couples he and his team observed based on subtle body language cues suggesting contemptuous feelings (such as dismissive eye-rolling). Contempt doesn't have to be expressed openly for it to be hard at work rotting the foundations of one's relationship.<br />
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<b>Stage Three</b> Most people find conflict and contempt to be stressful and react to such conditions by entering the third stage of breakdown, characterized by partner's increasingly defensive behavior. Men in particular (but women too) become hardened by the chronicity of the ongoing conflict, and may react even more acutely during moments when conflict is most heated by becoming overwhelmed and "flooded"; a condition which is psychologically and emotionally quite painful. Over time, partners learn to expect that they are 'gridlocked'; that they cannot resolve their differences, and that any attempts at resolution will result in further overwhelm, hurt or disappointment. <br />
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<b>Stage Four</b> Rather than face the pain and overwhelm they expect to experience, partners who have reached this third 'defensive' stage, may progress to the forth and final stage of breakdown, characterized by a breakdown of basic trust between the partners, and increasing disengagement in the name of self-protection. Like a steam-valve in a pressure cooker, the partners start avoiding one another so as to minimize their conflicts. Gottman calls this final stage, "Stonewalling", perhaps after the image of a partner hiding behind a stone wall designed to protect him or her from further assault. Unfortunately, there is no way to love your partner when you are hiding behind a wall to protect yourself from him or her.</div>
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The "four horsemen" breakdown sequence plays out amongst the backdrop of partner compatibility. Basically compatible partners may demonstrate a whole lot of conflict, but they don't often become contemptuous and angry with their partners, because there are by definition few things that they will disagree upon. In contrast, partners who start out with incompatible goals, values or dreams are far more likely to get into seemingly irresolvable conflicts. Also, once the process of contempt, defensiveness and avoidance begins, small incompatibilities can become magnified as spouses pursue other interests as an alternative to conflict.<br />
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Author: Skip <br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-8536500797025713042011-12-08T05:00:00.000-06:002016-08-08T14:36:35.478-05:00Does My Girlfriend/Boyfriend Have Borderline Personality Disorder?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A person suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder is often not as they seem.<br />
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Are you trying to determine if someone in your life may suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder? You will soon find out that this is a complex question. There are no simple behavioral checklists; no definitive tests. Identifying Borderline Personality Disorder requires having a working knowledge of the disorder and some insight into the past life of the person in question.<br />
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Borderline Personality Disorder is a disorder of the emotions. Imagine a person who is extremely sensitive to rejection (fearful of even perceived or anticipated rejection) and has a limited ability to modulate their emotional impulses (love, fear, anger, grief, etc.). To protect themselves from their own feelings, they are prone to adopt a multitude of dysfunctional rationalizations and cover-ups.<br />
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For example, a person suffering from BPD may so fear rejection in a new relationship that they recreate themselves in the image of a person they believe would be lovable. When the negative emotions for making such a sacrifice surface - and not having the ability to modulate them, they lash out at the target of their affections for "making them do it" - rather than face their own feelings of inadequacy / fear of rejection, ultimately damaging the relationship they so fear losing, and reinforcing their feelings of inadequacy / fear of rejection.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDcBviPOFCyEEK81nAA7SQRoggGl7lZ8_CDGYa7gKyY2LCs1u7t5Z1cG0r1a8ejwdUDPbMLhKPz0_hkJ6GYPDM2zYx9hjZngPSaG0ZDW1PTPaGn1DgbnqSJab5-7rX-ppLqKMlr0-zhkiA/s1600/optical-illusions-051.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDcBviPOFCyEEK81nAA7SQRoggGl7lZ8_CDGYa7gKyY2LCs1u7t5Z1cG0r1a8ejwdUDPbMLhKPz0_hkJ6GYPDM2zYx9hjZngPSaG0ZDW1PTPaGn1DgbnqSJab5-7rX-ppLqKMlr0-zhkiA/s200/optical-illusions-051.jpg" width="191" /></a><b>What is going on in a Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer's mind and how they are acting can be two entirely different things.</b><br />
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To the sufferer, BPD is about deep feelings, feelings often too difficult to express, feelings that are something along the lines of this (2):<br />
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<li> If others really get to know me, they will find me rejectable and will not be able to love me; and they will leave me;</li>
<li> I need to have complete control of my feelings otherwise things go completely wrong;</li>
<li> I have to adapt my needs to other people's wishes, otherwise they will leave me or attack me;</li>
<li> I am an evil person and I need to be punished for it;</li>
<li> Other people are evil and abuse you;</li>
<li> If someone fails to keep a promise, that person can no longer be trusted;</li>
<li> If I trust someone, I run a great risk of getting hurt or disappointed;</li>
<li> If you comply with someone's request, you run the risk of losing yourself;</li>
<li> If you refuse someone's request, you run the risk of losing that person;</li>
<li> I will always be alone;</li>
<li> I can't manage by myself, I need someone I can fall back on;</li>
<li> There is no one who really cares about me, who will be available to help me, and whom I can fall back on;</li>
<li> I don't really know what I want;</li>
<li> I will never get what I want;</li>
<li> I'm powerless and vulnerable and I can't protect myself;.</li>
<li> I have no control of myself;</li>
<li> I can't discipline myself;</li>
<li> My feelings and opinions are unfounded;</li>
<li> Other people are not willing or helpful.</li>
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To the family members, BPD behavior is often very frustrating can feel unfair and punitive - something like this (3):<br />
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<li>You have been viewed as overly good and then overly bad;</li>
<li> You have been the focus of unprovoked anger or hurtful actions, alternating with periods when the family member acts perfectly normal and very loving;</li>
<li> Things that you have said or done have been twisted and used against you;</li>
<li> You are accused of things you never did or said?</li>
<li> You often find yourself defending and justifying your intentions;</li>
<li> You find yourself concealing what you think or feel because you are not heard;</li>
<li> You feel manipulated, controlled, and sometimes lied to.</li>
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As such, the most obvious "symptom" of Borderline Personality Disorder is a lifelong pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Why is Borderline Personality Disorder Difficult to Diagnose</span><br />
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Borderline Personality Disorder is a relatively recent addition to the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) and the World Health Organization International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD). Accordingly, the majority of practicing mental health professionals graduating prior to 2000 have not been trained on the diagnosis and the treatment of this complex disorder as part of their professional curriculum.</div>
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Additionally, the clinical definition of Borderline Personality Disorder is very broad. It is defined in terms of nine criteria of which 5 or more are indicative of the disorder. This translates to 255 clusters of criteria, or constellations as they are known, any one of which is diagnostic for BPD. Within these constellations, there are high functioning borderlines that operate well in society and whose disorder is not very obvious to new acquaintances or the casual observer. Also within these constellations are the low functioning borderlines who are more apparent as they can't hold jobs, or they self-harm (cutting). Suicidal attempts/ideation and anorexia/bulimia are some of the most serious aspects of this disorder - yet, many with the disorder do not exhibit either.<br />
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Proper diagnosis and treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder is spotty at best with community healthcare providers, marriage counselors, and family therapists who are often hesitant to diagnose or treat the disorder. As a result, most borderlines are undiagnosed or in treatment for other maladies such as depression or PTSD. If you suspect Borderline Personality Disorder, it is best to use a specialist, preferably one associated with a University.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Diagnostic Tests - Diagnostic Interview for Borderline Patients (DIB-R)</span><br />
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The Diagnostic Interview for Borderline Patients (DIB-R) is the best-known "test" for diagnosing BPD. The DIB is a semi structured clinical interview that takes about 50-90 minutes to administer. The test, developed to be administered by skilled clinicians, consist of 132 questions and observation using 329 summary statements. The test looks at areas of functioning associated with borderline personality disorder. The four areas of functioning include Affect (chronic/major depression, helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt, anger, anxiety, loneliness, boredom, emptiness), Cognition (odd thinking, unusual perceptions, nondelusional paranoia, quasipsychosis), Impulse action patterns (substance abuse/dependence, sexual deviance, manipulative suicide gestures, other impulsive behaviors), and Interpersonal relationships (intolerance of aloneness, abandonment, engulfment, annihilation fears, counterdependency, stormy relationships, manipulativeness, dependency, devaluation, masochism/sadism, demandingness, entitlement). The test is available at no charge by contacting John Gunderson M.D. McLean Hospital in Belmont Massachusetts (617-855-2293).<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Diagnostic Tests - Structured Clinical Interview (SCID-II)</span><br />
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The Structured Clinical Interview (now SCID-II) was formulated in 1997 by First, Gibbon, Spitzer, Williams, and Benjamin. It closely follows the language of the DSM-IV Axis II Personality Disorders criteria. There are 12 groups of questions corresponding to the 12 personality disorders. The scoring is either the trait is absent, subthreshold, true, or there is "inadequate information to code". SCID-II can be self administered or administered by third parties (a spouse, an informant, a colleague) and yield decent indications of the disorder. The questionnaire is available from the American Psychiatric Publishing ($60.00).<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Diagnostic Tests - Personality Disorder Beliefs Questionnaire (PDBQ).</span><br />
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The Personality Disorder Beliefs Questionnaire (PDBQ) is a brief self administered test for Personality Disorder tendencies. We have included a list of questions most often answered as "yes" by people with Borderline Personality Disorder .<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Diagnostic Tests - Other</span><br />
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Other commonly used assessment tests are rating tests such as the Zanarini Rating Scale for Borderline Personality Disorder (ZAN-BPD), and the McLean Screening Instrument for Borderline Personality Disorder (MSI-BPD). In addition there are some free, informal tests available - some BPDFamily.com members have found that these tests are helpful.<br />
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Author: Skip <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-68209038727788726122011-11-01T06:00:00.000-05:002016-08-08T01:16:56.561-05:00The most common mental health conditions.There are many different conditions that are recognized as mental illnesses. According to BPDFamily.com, the more common types include:<br />
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<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Anxiety disorders:</b> People with anxiety disorders respond to certain objects or situations with fear and dread, as well as with physical signs of anxiety or nervousness, such as a rapid heartbeat and sweating. An anxiety disorder is diagnosed if the person's response is not appropriate for the situation, if the person cannot control the response, or if the anxiety interferes with normal functioning. Anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and specific phobias.</li>
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<li><b>Mood disorders:</b> These disorders, also called affective disorders, involve persistent feelings of sadness or periods of feeling overly happy, or fluctuations from extreme happiness to extreme sadness. The most common mood disorders are depression, mania, and bipolar disorder.</li>
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<li><b>Psychotic disorders:</b> Psychotic disorders involve distorted awareness and thinking. Two of the most common symptoms of psychotic disorders are hallucinations -- the experience of images or sounds that are not real, such as hearing voices -- and delusions -- false beliefs that the ill person accepts as true, despite evidence to the contrary. Schizophrenia is an example of a psychotic disorder.</li>
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<li><b>Eating disorders:</b> Eating disorders involve extreme emotions, attitudes, and behaviors involving weight and food. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder are the most common eating disorders.</li>
</ul>
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<li><b>Impulse control and addiction disorders:</b> People with impulse control disorders are unable to resist urges, or impulses, to perform acts that could be harmful to themselves or others. Pyromania (starting fires), kleptomania (stealing), and compulsive gambling are examples of impulse control disorders. Alcohol and drugs are common objects of addictions. Often, people with these disorders become so involved with the objects of their addiction that they begin to ignore responsibilities and relationships.</li>
</ul>
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<li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Personality disorders: </b>People with personality disorders have extreme and inflexible personality traits that are distressing to the person and/or cause problems in work, school, or social relationships. In addition, the person's patterns of thinking and behavior significantly differ from the expectations of society and are so rigid that they interfere with the person's normal functioning. Examples include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, and paranoid personality disorder.</li>
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Other, less common types of mental illnesses include:<br />
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<li><b>Adjustment disorder:</b> Adjustment disorder occurs when a person develops emotional or behavioral symptoms in response to a stressful event or situation. The stressors may include natural disasters, such as an earthquake or tornado; events or crises, such as a car accident or the diagnosis of a major illness; or interpersonal problems, such as a divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, or a problem with substance abuse. Adjustment disorder usually begins within three months of the event or situation and ends within six months after the stressor stops or is eliminated.</li>
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<li><b>Dissociative disorders:</b> People with these disorders suffer severe disturbances or changes in memory, consciousness, identity, and general awareness of themselves and their surroundings. These disorders usually are associated with overwhelming stress, which may be the result of traumatic events, accidents, or disasters that may be experienced or witnessed by the individual. Dissociative identity disorder, formerly called multiple personality disorder, or "split personality", and depersonalization disorder are examples of dissociative disorders.</li>
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<li><b>Factitious disorders: </b>Factitious disorders are conditions in which physical and/or emotional symptoms are created in order to place the individual in the role of a patient or a person in need of help.</li>
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<li><b>Sexual and gender disorders:</b> These include disorders that affect sexual desire, performance, and behavior. Sexual dysfunction, gender identity disorder, and the paraphilias are examples of sexual and gender disorders.</li>
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<li><b>Somatoform disorders:</b> A person with a somatoform disorder, formerly known as psychosomatic disorder, experiences physical symptoms of an illness even though a doctor can find no medical cause for the symptoms.</li>
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<li><b>Tic disorders:</b> People with tic disorders make sounds or display body movements that are repeated, quick, sudden, and/or uncontrollable. (Sounds that are made involuntarily are called vocal tics.) Tourette's syndrome is an example of a tic disorder.</li>
</ul>
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Other diseases or conditions, including various sleep-related problems and many forms of dementia, including Alzheimer's disease, are sometimes classified as mental illnesses because they involve the brain.<br />
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Author: Skip <br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-83049424573072281832011-10-03T07:51:00.006-05:002017-01-31T07:14:36.689-06:00What is Parental Alienation?<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ezBJ3954mKw" width="100%"></iframe>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>A</b></span>fter the divorce it is not uncommon for one or both parents to share their frustration about the other parent with the children or in front of the children. After fighting hard for custody, it's not easy to wake up the next day and be instantly healed from the wounds of battle - but this is what is what is best for the child. To share frustration about the other parent is inappropriate and unfair to the child as it places them in an adult situation and asks them to make adult assessments. If, as parents, we truly love our children, we will heed this warning, act like adults, and do what is necessary to spare our children. Fortunately, in most cases, parents eventually get the message when they see articles like this one. In most cases, the children are resilient and learn to adapt while the parents get their acts together.<br />
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It's easy to see when on our ex-spouse steps over the line - we are often slower to see it in ourselves. We sometimes feel justified because the other "ex" is doing it or because the ex is a jerk or because we feel we are helping the children grow up. It is important that we evaluate our own behavior and the all events that lead up to the conflict. Often, we need to reach out to heal the divide. There is as much art to this as science and timing is very important. Healing typically happens in steps and the other party my not join in on the onset.<br />
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At BPDFamily, we often recommend for parents to start out with a <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=67574.0" target="_blank">parallel parenting plan</a> after the divorce with the intent of using the space that it creates for healing and gently probing, over time, the best ways to co-parent. A good parallel parenting plan often sets co-parenting as the ultimate objective. <br />
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Unfortunately, in a few cases the fight between the parents can become a post divorce obsession - sometimes evolving all the way to what is known as "Parental Alienation Syndrome" - a very difficult sitation.<br />
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In this video, Jane Major, PhD. will help you look at yourself, look and ex-spouse, and assess what is happening with your children; is is the garden-variety post divorce frustrations that often abate, or is is significant and requiring of cooperative action of the parents, or is a severe parental alienation brewing with the need for court intervention?<br />
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It is important to carefully and maturely assess the situation and select your course of action carefully. You don't want to be impatient, controlling, or take actions that will make matters worse. You also don't want to sit by and let matters deteriorate.<br />
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Below are some helpful summary points form the video: <br />
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<b>What is "parental alienation"?</b><br />
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The behavior of a parent that engages a child in a discussion so that the child can either participate or hear them degrade the other parent. Some parents are so upset they will reveal too much information such as "court papers." Alienation happens when the parent does not recognize the bounds of what they can say or do.<br />
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<b>Why do parents engage in parental alienation?</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdJyd9hdfi04Zj7lQIlEq7jqNndLa0bW0sfEhf0oGPMh9oMcZmU8BZ3P-byrrRZy3CJIGjTRSmtS5RATeok0dxqKJy38Vt5oxQQw-EjoF0SxdnKnKyc99WDrUg8CZ8rwIxL62Tpns_0zZU/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-01-13+at+4.59.46+PM.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdJyd9hdfi04Zj7lQIlEq7jqNndLa0bW0sfEhf0oGPMh9oMcZmU8BZ3P-byrrRZy3CJIGjTRSmtS5RATeok0dxqKJy38Vt5oxQQw-EjoF0SxdnKnKyc99WDrUg8CZ8rwIxL62Tpns_0zZU/s320/Screen+shot+2012-01-13+at+4.59.46+PM.png" width="250" /></a>Parents that engage in parental alienation are acting out their own drama and upset about what's occurred. For most people, parental alienation is mild, and it's very common in divorces, where an unkind thing is said, a name called or something, where a parent doesn't have boundaries. Mild parent alienation is, "you tell me if you get scared at your daddy's and I'll come," so planting a seed that you're not safe with your daddy. Another form of parental alienation is saying, "is anybody over at your mother's spending the night?" Parental alienation is being inappropriate with those kinds of questions and fishing to find information from the child that the child shouldn't be involved in. So mild parent alienation often occurs and most people get a grip. Most people understand it's not appropriate to engage in parental alienation. Eventually somebody will tell them parental alienation is inappropriate, or the child can adapt. They say, "aw, there goes mom again." " Aw, there goes dad again." They can cope with parental alienation. Not adapt, but cope. In moderate parent alienation, the parent goes ballistic and calls names upon seeing the person, or speaking on the phone, and is just in a rage and a tirade about the other parent and is terribly inappropriate. And if the child sees this parental alienation often, they may be involved in aligning against the other parent. So this form of parental alienation is very serious, but those parents can be helped with parenting classes, with mentoring, with therapy, with anger management, with other things to enable them to finally calm down.<br />
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<b>What type of parent is likely to engage in parental alienation?</b><br />
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We do know that even within a marriage parents maybe doing parent alienation. This is anytime a parent speaks negatively about another parent so that a child could here it. Children can cope with that usually and adjust. When parent's get a divorce its more frequent that that is likely to occur. Unless the parents are really sophisticated parents and understand it and have thought this through and don't do that and we do have those people god bless them. Some parents become so irate at the other parent that they just lose all control and they go into a rage and the child witnesses this and the parent in the moderate is likely to be programming the child to also hate the other parent or never ever say to that parent that they enjoyed any kind of time with that other parent or they had fun with that parent at all. They would never tell this parent that is so difficult anything about the other.<br />
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<b>How do I know if my spouse is actually committing parental alienation?</b><br />
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If a parent is engaged in parental alienation, it is more than we are getting a divorce and we have got to figure out a parent plan. A parent engaged in parental alienation is a person who is obsessed, is very ugly, and nasty and will stop at nothing to get their way. Now you really need to figure out if you have an enemy engaged in parental alienation, what it is that makes this person your enemy, and how can you best protect your children. And at that point this is more than ordinary stuff, this is the small percentage of very sick people. Now you need to educate yourself because you are in a different kind of a war when one party is engaged in parental alienation. It's a lot at stake.<br />
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<b>What is "severe parental alienation"?</b><br />
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In the most obsessed and severe kind, severe parental alienation is where parents become ugly or nasty. You can't work with them or solve problems with them by reasoning. Severe parental alienation are cases where you have to go to court to get any kind of resolution and these parents so nasty they will allege all kinds of lies to get their way. This is when what prevails in truth is often not the truth but what appears to be truth. The parents will allege all manner of horrible things, and they will take the least little negative issue and turn it into a huge issue. They will create their own reality and then they will end up believing their own fabrications with all their heart and soul, and are very convincing. Evidence, truth and facts are not part of severe parental alienation because they've made up their own facts. The fact that they are so believable is why judges have to rely on evaluators to sort through all of that and come up with recommendations.<br />
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<b>How will parental alienation affect the targeted parent?</b><br />
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The person who's the targeted parent, wonders what the hell happened here. Because that was never their intention, they didn't marry this person or have a child with them with the idea that the person could become so unglued and become so ugly and nasty. It takes a horrible toll on the targeted parent. Psychologically they have to cope with being accused of all kinds of things that they did not do. They are always on the defensive, they are always back peddling, trying to figure out "what am I going to do about it?" Even in the relationship, when they were in a together relationship, there are some people that are so disturbed that when the targeted parent tries to solve problems with them they get a two-by-four between the eyes, and they back off and they say "that hurt!" Then they go back and they regroup and they try to solve problems with this person again, the nasty one. By the way, it's men or women. It is not more women do this than men do which is a common concept. Now that there is so much shared custody, very disturbed men can do this as much as women. So at any rate, whoever it is it's a very disturbed person because healthy people don't act like that.<br />
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<b>How will parental alienation affect my child?</b><br />
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When you have a parent who's in the moderate or obsessed category one of the things that they cannot allow is for the child to love and have a positive relationship with the other parent. Now, guess who is the healthier parent? This is the target parent almost always. The obsessed person is not a healthy parent. They're very nasty and ugly, and they don't play fair at all. They will stop at any lengths to win and what they're winning is the mind of a child. They will brainwash a child (another word for it is to program a child) to hate their targeted parent; the healthier parent, the other half of their heritage, the other half of their whole family construct. Half of that child's family, if this obsessed parent is successful, is now ‘x'ed out of the child's life. We call that a “parentectomy” where the parent has been cut out of the child's life; a “parentectomy.” The child then loses all contact with the individuals that would be most likely to love that child, nurture that child, and care for that child, and provide. They lose out on all of that and if the really disturbed parent prevails, and they often do, this child grows up with a very serious situation where one parent is psychologically disturbed. The characteristic is always that the disturbed person is expecting the child to take care of them. This is called parent role reversal, where the child is always in the position to take care of the most disturbed parent. So how does that help children? It doesn't.<br />
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<b>How will parental alienation affect my child when he grows up?</b><br />
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If the alienating and obsessed parent is successful in their agenda then the child will no longer have any access or influence from the other parent, they will lose that side of their family, that side of their whole heritage, and they will grow up with a person who's a very damaged individual. So they will not be adequately parented. We do know that the picture is not a pretty picture for them in their lives, that they will have many psychological issues, relationship issues, they're going to have a very hard time in their life. Just recently, Amy J.L Baker, a researcher in child development that teaches college at Columbia University, has published a book called 'Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind'. This is an enormously valuable book for anybody that doesn't understand parental alienation and what the consequences are. She researched 4, adult children where passes had occurred in their childhood and the outcome was really extraordinary, to point out what, we need to do everything we can to get a handle on what this problem is and how to do something about it.<br />
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<b>How do I prevent parental alienation?</b><br />
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Prevention is the key that, but in some people they're already psychiatrically disturbed people. And usually people don't know that when they start having babies with them or go into business with them or any kind of other relationship until something happens that the person really becomes crazy - undone. So I don't know that you can stop. I think you could do an awful lot more of preventing yourself from leaping into situations where you don't know who this person really is. Having children with somebody who is already difficult is likely to turn more difficult. So it behooves people to be very careful in their relationships with people. So it starts right there. Know who you're involved with. Take the time to get to know this person.<br />
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<b>How do I cope with parental alienation?</b><br />
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One of the ways not to cope with parental alienation is to be passive, because that's the trait of most people that get involved with obsessed parental alienators. They just don't know what to do. So go and find somebody that does know what to do about parental alienation. You're not the first person that's had the problem of parental alienation. Believe me. There's a lot of literature available for people with parental alienation problems. There's a lot of experts that specialize in parental alienation. I say the best thing you can do is educate yourself about parental alienation. Go online. There's a lot of resources about parental alienation online. There are also many excellent books about parental alienation. "Stop Walking on Eggshells" is one of them. There are a lot of helpers, a lot of mentors out there who can show people the way to deal with parental alienation. Join up. Don't stay in isolation with parental alienation. Educate yourself as to what parental alienation is and what other people have done. I have an article on our website called "Parents Who Have Successfully Fought Parental Alienation Syndrome." That's been on the website for years and years, and it's gone all over the world. I've heard from people that said you've exactly described my family. I have another article that will be on our website called "The Cost, Causes, and Controversies of Parent Alienation and Parent Alienation Syndrome." Educate yourself. There's a whole education possible.<br />
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<b>What is "parental alienation syndrome"?</b><br />
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Parent alienation describes what the parent is doing. Parent alienation syndrome describes what the child is doing. It is a very important distinction to make. They are not one and the same. Parent alienation syndrome was originally identified in 1985 by a psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Gardner. He was the pioneer in parent education syndrome, when there was a burgeoning of divorces in the early 80s, when joint custody first became a reality, starting in California. James Cook lobbied the California legislature for joint custody laws, and they were passed in 1980, and then swept the country as the concept that the best parent is both parents and you have to figure out how to share these children. Not one parent takes all the custody and the other one becomes a visitor, not in the child's life at all. So many fathers started clamoring to go to court to get access to their children, and this created a tremendous burden on the courts which has not been alleviated to this day.<br />
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<b>How does parental alienation syndrome affect my child?</b><br />
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Another curious thing about children who are involved in parent alienation syndrome. That means they're no longer adapting and coping, that they've gone over and aligned with the most disturbed parent. In some cases, it's a shared psychosis that the child shares with the disturbed parent, the mother or the father. And they become one unit. The child then will make up scenarios of their own about how horrible the targeted parent is. They have no basis in fact whatsoever, it's nothing they ever experienced, but just as kids can create wonderful stories and fairy tales, and all of that, they use that technique to describe horrible things that the parent has done, which in truth they haven't done. And they can be very convincing, because they are passionate, and they're angry. Their brains have been seriously altered into such a state of confusion that they don't know the truth.<br />
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<b>How do I cope with a child experiencing parental alienation syndrome?</b><br />
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If your child is already in the syndrome and the syndrome is where they are brainwashed, you want to stand up for yourself and say, "That didn't happen." "You didn't experience that." "I never did that to you." "You are loved by both of your parents and I love you and I will always be here for you." You know, there just isn't any kind of panacea for these. If people really have the worst case scenario, the only thing that's going to turn it around is getting a judicial order for the other parent to be contained; for the disturbed parent to be contained. This is why there is such heavy litigation in these kinds of families. If they can't litigate, if they can't get a judicial order containing the disturbed parent, then they may just lose those children.<br />
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<b>How do I stop parental alienation if it is occurring?</b><br />
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The only way is to get a court order that would contain the disturbed parent, and to get legal custody to the healthier parent and to work with the family. There are actually protocols that are being developed now because prior to this there hasn't been anything that we know to do with the obsessed parent, there's just, there's no protocol whatsoever, in fact there still isn't. But there are being developed ways to detox or unbrainwash or unprogram a child if they can get it soon enough, but there gets to be a tipping point or turning place where you're not going to really reach that child. In Doctor Baker's research, she found children that finally understood that they were brainwashed, and so therapy, you know, a lot of times people's hands are just tied. It has to be a court order, the judge has to really get it, who the good guy is and who the bad guy is. </div>
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Please join us as we work together to find more rewarding and healthy lives with our BPD loved ones, or as we recover from a failed BPD relationship. For more information and to register, <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0">click here</a>.<br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-44960568380183560132011-09-05T06:00:00.006-05:002016-08-08T01:17:41.792-05:00A Person with Borderline Personality Disorder Doesn't have the Emotional Language to Express Themselves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnB2mVhmrQQWfyLAX1kIeR3rAu4zj_y_z1W8uJ8FrCUxYk01pskGcZSQU_lhMPk1jtuYDMTQ-MaemTSJp_ijP4ff_2VK3uE0AJeE85AlK43gDim4hqPbjOaIdwTxeNrShq5nFaxpPgFTiS/s1600/back.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnB2mVhmrQQWfyLAX1kIeR3rAu4zj_y_z1W8uJ8FrCUxYk01pskGcZSQU_lhMPk1jtuYDMTQ-MaemTSJp_ijP4ff_2VK3uE0AJeE85AlK43gDim4hqPbjOaIdwTxeNrShq5nFaxpPgFTiS/s320/back.jpg" width="320" /></a>Did you ever ask someone to scratch your back and they keep missing the itchy spot?<br />
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How irritating that is even though you ask them <i>"to go up, now to the left, harder, up and down"</i> and sometimes even shift around hoping they will get it when they are not. It can be very frustrating if the other person completely misses the spot. After awhile you just give up - - your communication isn't working. <br />
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This is not unlike communications with our partners with Borderline Personality Disorder (pwBPD).<br />
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A pwBPD doesn't have the emotional language to ask for what they need. They often communicate <i>"up, now to the left, harder" </i>when they really mean<i> </i><i>"down, to the right, side to side"</i><br />
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The "<i>itch</i>" is the hurt our very sensitive pwBPD feels inside. Often our partners don't even know how to process what they are feeling or put it into words. As a result, some become demanding and controlling, some become mean and nasty, some give up and move on to someone else, and some just stop asking all together.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6WJrjLQ9ztI9bsMls2Aox6qD8_WJ6UqouePr0uiJnMueY1ki5yewvDhMgdBB6iz7Qywjt8RTnwh0UT9eWuJ_hGcOWC03Um0mItwWtr8DggMuxYAlbyyZEtuN2pO5qpscfgkyzDuTuayVk/s1600/z199531844.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6WJrjLQ9ztI9bsMls2Aox6qD8_WJ6UqouePr0uiJnMueY1ki5yewvDhMgdBB6iz7Qywjt8RTnwh0UT9eWuJ_hGcOWC03Um0mItwWtr8DggMuxYAlbyyZEtuN2pO5qpscfgkyzDuTuayVk/s200/z199531844.jpg" width="152" /></a><b>Can you imagine a lifetime of this? </b><br />
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As they have grown up, a pwBPD finds way to adapt - alternate ways to get their needs met - projection, mirroring, manipulating, sex, alcohol, drugs - pulling others into a relationship enmeshment. <br />
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As responsible partners, we want to respond appropriately. We listen to the words and the directions - we <i>"scratch harder, softer, slower, faster, bigger circles, and up and down"</i> in an effort to appease our partner. We think we are good listeners. We struggle when we fall short. We change and change and change. We lament over our failure to make things better.<br />
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<b>What are we doing wrong?</b><br />
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Part of the problem is Borderline Personality Disorder. Part of the problem is us. Trying to follow or pwBPD partner's words rather than learning to read their emotions and their actions.<br />
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pwBPD are mentally ill. They are highly emotional beings, very sensitive, and misleading communicators. When we stop responding to their alternate ways to get their needs met - projection, mirroring, manipulating, sex, alcohol, drugs - - and instead learn to read the unexpressed needs - - only then will we understand them and be able to help them.<br />
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<b>Authors</b>: United for Now, Skip <br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-1091144693628077252011-06-23T11:16:00.004-05:002016-08-08T01:17:58.300-05:00Marsha Linehan Reveals Her Own Fight with Borderline Personality Disorder<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<a href="http://video.nytimes.com/video/2011/06/23/health/100000000877082/the-power-of-rescuing-others.html?ref=health" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-gOuyeECaM84Hwnrn_1wb-fQ3KfaSabJIeeHA0iPBUEtTjVx2whnrYNsjYxNo8EacwmnTZ7VqwnGycyM0-LYJJPcCuP29HQwPILsX5Kb1q6Q0KwOLnzhj1AD-wya-ZOlBMntXZhNstHs/s400/Picture+15.png" width="250" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">Dr. Linehan had a ready answer. It was the one she always used to cut the question short, whether a patient asked it hopefully, accusingly or knowingly, having glimpsed the macramé of faded burns, cuts and welts on Dr. Linehan’s arms: <i style="color: purple;">“You mean, have I suffered?”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>“<span style="color: blue;">No, Marsha,”</span></i> the patient replied, in an encounter last spring. <i style="color: blue;">“I mean one of us. Like us. Because if you were, it would give all of us so much hope.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Dr. Linehan, 68, told her story in public for the first time last week before an audience of friends, family and doctors at the Institute of Living, the Hartford clinic where she was first treated for extreme social withdrawal at age 17. A discharge summary, dated May 31, 1963, noted that “during 26 months of hospitalization, Miss Linehan was, for a considerable part of this time, one of the most disturbed patients in the hospital.” <i style="color: purple;">“So many people have begged me to come forward, and I just thought — well, I have to do this. I owe it to them. I cannot die a coward.”</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUK2oJWk2OyeWdKj9D4cJkVO8WfF4eI0AMTU3FKFWSSxW6CoxRfEykSu_Y4IZYIYNgvv1wJkNJ8wxYc_6aTXj5UKtom7Kyr5LANIzTN3DMvI8AWECtEMl3yE5wpv0dcCkqFPZolB58Rx2v/s1600/Marsha-Linehan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUK2oJWk2OyeWdKj9D4cJkVO8WfF4eI0AMTU3FKFWSSxW6CoxRfEykSu_Y4IZYIYNgvv1wJkNJ8wxYc_6aTXj5UKtom7Kyr5LANIzTN3DMvI8AWECtEMl3yE5wpv0dcCkqFPZolB58Rx2v/s1600/Marsha-Linehan.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">An article appearing in the New York Times on a June 23, 2011, Marsha M. Linehan shares her struggles Borderline Personality Disorder and features a very inspirational video short (clink on photo above).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The article provides interesting insight into both the motivations and the spiritual and scientific influences that lead to Dr. Linehan to develop Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. The discussion of Radical Acceptance distills this concept down to its very essence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Bpdfamily.com salutes Dr. Linehan for taking this brave step to fight the stigma of one of the most difficult and perplexing condition tearing up lives and families. Every day hundreds of our members struggle helping a loved one and report again and again how isolating this illness is not only for the person suffering from BPD but also for the family members. Marsha Linehan and the cadre of gifted people that inspired by her have given everyone a much better chance to overcome the dysfunction in our relationships. <br />
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Authors: An0ught, BlackAndWhite, Patty, Skip, United for Now</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span><br />
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Source: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/23/health/23lives.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1">New York Times</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: blue;">"Are you one of us?"</span> </i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">the patient wanted to know of her therapist, Marsha M. Linehan of the University of Washington, creator of a treatment used worldwide for the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder.</span></span><br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-58616398021654599782011-04-19T06:00:00.001-05:002016-08-08T01:12:12.650-05:00Untangling the Internal Struggles of Borderline Personality Disorder<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In this 12 minute audio Amy Tibbitts, LSCSW discusses the day to day struggles of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (pwBPD) and the basic principles behind Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. This is a very helpful presentation for anyone trying to understand the mindset and behavior of someone suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder. It also helps with the understanding of how we, as family members, affect pwBPD.<br />
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Tibbitts explains that family members without mood disorders themselves know that emotions are simply emotions and that they do not need to responded to them. This is not so clear to a person with a mood disorder. <br />
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The speaker goes on to explain that family members also know that when they want to fulfill a goal, emotional responses need to be "put on the shelf" so they can continue with the task at hand. For someone with Borderline Personality Disorder this can be extremely challenging.<br />
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<b>Listen to the audio program </b><a href="http://bpdfamily.com/audio/wisemind.mp3" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: red;">Wisemind.mp3</span></b></a><br />
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<b>The Dialectal Dilemma - logic in the face of emotion is not helpful</b><br />
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Tibbitts describes what she calls the "dialectal dilemma". The dialectal dilemma is the invading feeling that results when applying logical thought to emotional responses at the time of the response. When this is done by the person having the response or by others it results in a very invalidating and very upsetting experience.<br />
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An alternative and the principle behind dialectical behavioral therapy is for the pwBPD to have cognition (recognition when an emotional reaction is in the extreme) and then substitute an alternate behavior - doing something different and more constructive with the emotional reaction. The emotion is not denied. The reaction to others is altered.<br />
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<b>Three Characteristics Common with Borderline Personality Disorder</b><br />
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Three characteristics are common in people suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder are heightened sensitivity, extreme reaction/arousal, and slow return to baseline.<br />
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Heightened sensitivity - A person with Borderline Personality Disorder has a high sensitivity to emotions and feelings - both their own and of others. <br />
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Extreme reaction and high arousal - Extreme reactions and high arousal often makes it difficult to think through issues and act in an appropriate way.<br />
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Slow return to baseline - These reactions last longer and this in turn can the heighten the reaction to subsequent events and stimuli.<br />
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<b>Biosocial Theory</b><br />
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The struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder are impacted by both biology and by the social environment.<br />
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Biological factors - Being tired, hungry, stressed, or under the influence are all conditions that exacerbate the struggles of Borderline Personality Disorder. This is why people with the disorder do not do well in crisis situations.<br />
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Social factors - Being in an environment that denies or minimizes emotional experiences (independent of whether they are valid or not) adds to the difficulties. Specific examples include indiscriminately rejecting the validity of feelings, punishing the pwBPD for their emotions, escalation of emotional situations, or oversimplification of the task of solving problems at hand.<br />
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When these factors become extreme it often leads to suicidal ideation, or parasuicidal ventures, or even suicide.<br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of over 50,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1994. We invite you to join with us to explore these and other aspects of having a person with Borderline Personality Disorder in your life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhroqU7Sc_u2xGpxkJ-qc7Xa2qDQFZLDdcA303Lt0GbuUqxSAMutdTIDqJiMJej_2dyjJ9oT2W3faH1HucnEWmcIyjrBEIoJahg0vJwpm7pcktJaGAmdXWPJB-r93GxgegCYdFQtpH3noM/s1600/audio.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhroqU7Sc_u2xGpxkJ-qc7Xa2qDQFZLDdcA303Lt0GbuUqxSAMutdTIDqJiMJej_2dyjJ9oT2W3faH1HucnEWmcIyjrBEIoJahg0vJwpm7pcktJaGAmdXWPJB-r93GxgegCYdFQtpH3noM/s200/audio.png" width="200" /></a></div>
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Amy Tibbitts, LSCSW, is the founder and director of the Lilac Center in Kansas City, MO. She has been providing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) in a private practice setting since October of 2000. Ms. Tibbitts is a 1997 graduate of the University of Kansas and holds a master’s degree in social welfare. She underwent clinical training at Wyandot Mental Health Center. Prior to opening her private practice, Amy provided clinical services at Johnson County Mental Health Center. She is currently authoring a book on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.</div>
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Author: Skip <br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
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<script src="http://mediaplayer.yahoo.com/js" type="text/javascript"></script>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-56878327133502012232011-03-22T05:08:00.006-05:002016-08-08T01:18:22.332-05:00Is the APA labeling the “problems of daily living” as disease?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The <i><b>Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders</b></i> (<b>DSM</b>) is published by the American Psychiatric Association and provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders. The DSM is sometimes referred as “the therapist’s Bible.” The DSM has enormous on who will and will not be called mentally ill and what the varieties of mental illness will be.<br />
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The leading therapists often disagree about which label to assign to a given patient, and there is less definitive research than one might expect to prove that <i>“A person with diagnosis X will benefit from and not be harmed by treatment Y.”</i> As such, each generation of DSM emerges with some controversy. This was true for the DSM (in 1952), then DSM-II (1968), DSM-III (1980), DSM-III-R (Third Edition Revised) (1987), DSM-IV (1994), and DSM-IV-TR (2000).<br />
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As the DSM-5 is being drafted on the heels of the promise of a “paradigm shift,” a debate has been ignited, fueled by the likes of old-guard DSM architects Drs. Robert Spitzer, MD, and Allen Frances MD, on the one hand, and current DSM-5 framers lead by <span style="color: black;">David J. Kupfer, M.D., </span>who are forging relentlessly onward toward a 2013 deadline on the other. The debate has many facets involving both content and process, but at the center is<b> </b><i><b>"what constitutes a mental illness and what are the appropriate targets of psychiatric intervention"</b>.</i> <br />
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<i>"Contrary to popular belief, the enterprise of psychiatric diagnosis is largely unscientific and highly subjective"</i> according to Harvard psychologist Paula Kaplan, PhD.<i> "I served as an advisor to two of the DSM-IV committees before resigning due to serious concerns after witnessing how fast and loose they play with the scientific research related to diagnosis. There is a lot of pain and suffering in the world, and it is tempting to believe that the mental health community knows how to help. It is widely believed, both by mental health professionals and the general population, that if only a person gets the right psychiatric diagnosis, the therapist will know what kind of measures will be the most helpful. </i><i>"</i></div>
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<b>Do 44 million people in the USA have a mental disorder? </b><br />
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Or does the DSM encourage an overstatement of mental illnesses? <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/">BPDFamily.com</a> reported in November 2010 that the US Surgeon General estimates that 28% of the US population suffer from either a mental or addictive disorder in a given year. This is based on the DSM-IV. The current prevalence estimate is that about 20 percent of the U.S. population are affected by mental disorders during a given year. This estimate comes from two epidemiologic surveys: the Epidemiologic Catchment Area (ECA) study of the early 1980s and the National Comorbidity Survey (NCS) of the early 1990s. Those surveys defined mental illness according to the prevailing editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The surveys estimate that during a 1-year period, 22 to 23 percent of the U.S. adult population.<br />
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<b>DSM IV increased the number of mental illness categories by 25%</b><br />
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DSM-III-R contained 297 categories and DSM-IV contained 374. Each time a new edition appears, the media ask whichever psychiatrist is the lead editor why a new edition was necessary, each editor replies that it was because the previous edition really wasn’t scientific (Caplan, 1995). And each time a new edition appears, it contains many more categories than does the previous one. <br />
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<b>Are the findings of the DSM 5 premature?</b><br />
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Dr. Frances cautions how the inclusion of spectral views of mental disorder in DSM-5 could contribute to inappropriate medicalization of “problems of daily living” and the sanctioning of pharmacologic interventions for conditions where evidence-based practice does not yet exist (e.g. indiscriminate use of antipsychotics for the “psychosis risk syndrome”).<br />
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At the same time, Frances states <i>"for many domains of psychopathology, a spectral view does reflect biological reality and that etiologic discoveries do require a shift to dimensional models of mental illness. However, DSM-V doesn’t need to exist for a dimensional approach to research to take place—such inquiry has already been ongoing for years. In fact, I would argue that DSM revisions should follow this kind of research rather than the other way around. Yet it seems that the move towards dimensionalization in DSM-V has already begun and that an immediate impact on clinical practice is inevitable. </i><br />
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<i>It is within arenas in which categorical judgments about mental pathology are both essential and have significant and potentially harmful consequences—the aspects of clinical intervention described above as well as with the various “third parties” that use DSM (e.g. governments deciding resource allocation, insurance companies reimbursing for care, the legal system making decisions about moral responsibility)—that thoughtful decisions must be made about how best to adapt to a spectral view of mental illness. It is therefore our collective destiny that ethical discussions about what could occur will soon become practical discussions about what does occur."</i><br />
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<b>Defining mental illness is complicated - where do you draw the line?</b><br />
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<b> </b>One prominent DSM-IV author has proposed that “relational disorder” be added to the manual. “Relational disorder” would be applied to a couple, neither of whom individually might be considered mentally ill but whose relationship would be considered sick. It is revealing to picture this scene: Two people sit in a psychiatrist’s office; neither of them is considered mentally ill, though their relationship is; the psychiatrist removes a pill from its bottle…where does the psychiatrist put the pill? <i><br />
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Author: Skip<br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-74450326520908442692011-03-07T06:06:00.002-06:002016-08-08T01:18:54.899-05:00How to support someone with Borderline Personality Disorder<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgB-SF2ywfmTYB-MpxskON8N4BC37AOGfPFJ49-GW8dSCEWf36N1NcEQXWRGDY4QYjlRM6_wzSH7-tz0cKejGx5Z5N_4ZJZxOcOZEGJE9COy-8cJjX2NgWUDdm80khlm_6-uK2cBvh6IlS/s1600/how-to-support.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgB-SF2ywfmTYB-MpxskON8N4BC37AOGfPFJ49-GW8dSCEWf36N1NcEQXWRGDY4QYjlRM6_wzSH7-tz0cKejGx5Z5N_4ZJZxOcOZEGJE9COy-8cJjX2NgWUDdm80khlm_6-uK2cBvh6IlS/s1600/how-to-support.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b>For any family members or relationship partners</b> of a person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0">bpdfamily.com</a> may be a helpful resource. We teach our members healthy ways to support and cope with a loved one suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder.<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">"<i>There are so many misconceptions about this disorder today"</i> according to Valarie Porr, MA. </span><span class="star-caretcode-b">Valerie Porr, </span>is a mental health educator and advocate trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and is the founder and president of the Treatment and Research Advancements National Association for Personality Disorder (TARA NAPD). She conducts psycho-educational training seminars for family members of those with BPD in New York. <span style="font-size: small;">TARA NAPD is a not-for-profit organization whose mission is to foster education and research in the field of personality disorder. Ms. Porr is also the author of the <i><span id="btAsinTitle">Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change </span></i> from Oxford University Press. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMU-An8y94Gb-5eT-liDugMG4C3VVxT-jEHODPm6EY-g7HdftPDC8mY2R-5f-xU1prUH37myaeT20btx1vHvcwGanuzo4jS5Jv5pDoUiazPoGkb0AH7tQTaqVyiD-tzrIhC4wgD0l_9cVm/s1600/Valerie-Porr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMU-An8y94Gb-5eT-liDugMG4C3VVxT-jEHODPm6EY-g7HdftPDC8mY2R-5f-xU1prUH37myaeT20btx1vHvcwGanuzo4jS5Jv5pDoUiazPoGkb0AH7tQTaqVyiD-tzrIhC4wgD0l_9cVm/s1600/Valerie-Porr.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Valerie Porr, M.A.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In her new book (August 2010) Ms. Porr outlines what she feels families need from clinicians based on her experience running the of TARA helpline.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Accurate information.</b> Knowledge of the biological basis of BPD can help families reframe the behavior of their loved one in the light of current science and accept that evidence-based treatment works. Accurate information can dispel the stigma that colors attitudes toward people with BPD.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Understanding</b> that the person with BPD is doing the best he can and does not intend to harm others or himself. Discourage viewing the person with BPD as "manipulative," as the enemy, or as hopeless. Understanding can melt anger and cultivate compassion.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Acceptance</b> that the person with BPD has a disability and has special needs. Help the family accept their loved one as someone with a chronic illness. They may continue to be financially and emotion- ally dependent on the family and be vocationally impaired. BPD is a deficit or handicap that can be overcome. Help families to reconcile to the long-term course of BPD and accept that progress will be slow. There are no short-term solutions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Compassion</b>. Do not assume that every family is a "dysfunctional family." Emotions are contagious. Living with someone with BPD can make any family dysfunctional. Family members have been recipients of rages as well as abusive and irrational behaviors. They live in perpetual fear and feel manipulated. They often react by either protecting and rescuing or rejecting and avoiding. Reframe their points of view with compassion. Families are doing the best they can. They need support and acceptance. "Bad parents" are usually uninformed, not malevolent. They did the wrong things for the right reasons (the "allergic to milk syndrome"). Anyone can have a disturbed child. Keep reminding the family of the neurobiological dysregulations of BPD, and of the pain their loved one is coping with each day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><b>Collaboration for change</b>. Accept that families can help, can learn effective skills and become therapeutic partners. They can reinforce treatment. The IQ of a family member is not reduced if a loved one has BPD. Do not patronize or fragelize family members. Family members are generally well-educated, intelligent people who are highly motivated to help. Respect their commitment. When you provide them with effective skills to help their loved one, they can become therapeutic parent or partners. You can help them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Stay in the present.</b> Do not focus on past painful experiences when the person with BPD cannot cope with aversive feelings and has no distress tolerance skills. Avoid shame-inducing memories. If you induce arousal and the patient cannot cope with the arousal, therapy becomes unacceptable, giving her additional pressure and stress and undermining cognitive control. This is a sure-fire way to get her to drop out of therapy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Be nonjudgmental</b>. Respect that families are doing the best they can, in the moment, without any understanding of the underlying disorders or the ability to translate their loved one's behaviors. Although they may have done the wrong thing in the past, it was probably for the right reasons. Their intention was not to hurt their loved one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Teach awareness of nonverbal communication.</b> Teach them limbic language so they can learn to speak to the amygdala, to communicate emotionally through validation. Teach families to be aware of body language, voice tones, gestures, and facial expressions. Especially avoid neutral faces. Teach effective coping skills based on cognitive behavior therapy, DBT, and mentalization.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Corroborate allegations.</b> Try not to assume the worst, and corroborate allegations. Remember that your perception of an event or experience may be different from what actually happened.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Remember, families have rights.</b> When families are paying for therapy, they have rights, beyond confidentiality regulations such as the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). This reality must be acknowledged. Excluding parents completely jeopardizes the feasibility of continuation of therapy. They need to help decide if investment in therapy is worthwhile and have a right to know about attendance, motivation, and benefits from therapy. What is confidential in therapy is what is talked about. Let them know about the therapy, prognosis, and course of the illness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Avoid ultimatums, limits, contracts, and tough love</b>. These methods are not effective with people with BPD. Be sure that families understand that boundaries are generally viewed as punishment by the person with BPD. Be sure they understand how to change behavior by explaining reinforcement, punishment, shaping, and extinction so that they do not reinforce maladaptive behaviors.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Discourage "we."</b> Encourage family members to nurture individual relationships with the person with BPD, not the united front of "we" against "you". Although both parents can have the same goals for their loved one, they must express these goals in their own style, in one-on-one relationships. Focus on developing individual relationships and trust, not solving individual problems. This will discourage "splitting."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Encourage family involvement. </b>When a person with BPD resists family involvement, this should not be automatically accepted. Resistance is symptomatic of the person with BPD devaluing his loved ones. If you participate in devaluing the family, difficulties are intensified when treatment comes to an end, especially when the person is financially dependent on his family. Remember that the family loves this person and will be there for him when you are no longer involved.</span></div>
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<i><span class="star-caretcode-i"></span></i>Porr suggests that rather than view people with BPD as manipulative opponents in a bitter struggle, or pitying them as emotional invalids, that BPD is a true neurobiological disorder and not, as many come to believe, a character flaw or the result of bad parenting. </div>
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<i>"Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder by Valerie Porr is like water for a parched land. Few psychiatric disorders are as misunderstood as borderline personality disorder, a condition that can be profoundly disabling to patients and devastating to families. Opinions about what families should do are plentiful, but evidence-based guidance, derived from solid research, is rare. This is what this book delivers. It is an invaluable roadmap for families of patients with BPD."</i> ~ John Oldham, Chief of Staff, The Menninger Clinic<br />
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Author: Skip </div>
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<a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0"><img border="0" src="http://bpdfamily.com/images/blogspot/membership.jpg" height="30" width="323" /></a> <br />
BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPDFamily is a non-profit, co-op of over 70,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its over 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=59843.0" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-87006368722146403762011-01-10T07:06:00.009-06:002016-08-08T14:38:54.967-05:00A better book than Stop Walking on Eggshells<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAv6Jk3k97n3xRb6fsKHOLKWqgptegv5dCItqRJ0dZnJXG0EZ6FNrP0lFu2shyphenhyphengqa_BaPL0Su95rKneLV49NsMPPknrkK20EJAlmFlim67_FWVODlr4oHV4MIQcIq1WRsjcXuHMhfo9gA3/s1600/easter-ideas-table-centerpieces-decorations-egg-shells-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAv6Jk3k97n3xRb6fsKHOLKWqgptegv5dCItqRJ0dZnJXG0EZ6FNrP0lFu2shyphenhyphengqa_BaPL0Su95rKneLV49NsMPPknrkK20EJAlmFlim67_FWVODlr4oHV4MIQcIq1WRsjcXuHMhfo9gA3/s320/easter-ideas-table-centerpieces-decorations-egg-shells-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Stop Walking on Eggshells, second edition.<br />
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Your therapist probably recommended <i>Stop Walking on Eggshells</i> - many do - this 1998<i> </i>self-help guide for the family members of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is well known among therapists. This book was the
first of its kind to address the concerns of BPD family members and
friends.<br />
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Most therapists will suggest this book to see if the description sounds anything like your mother, child, spouse. For this purpose, it's an excellent book... easy to understand... good examples.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Second Edition, 2010</td></tr>
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Now, the second edition of <i>Stop Walking on Eggshells</i> is
available (New Harbinger, 2010), and the book continues to be very useful introduction for family members, spouses, and friends of people
with BPD.<br />
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In the new edition, the medication information has been updated as well as the resources
appendices.</div>
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The book has a number of notable strengths. It
covers a broad range of issues that loved ones face, and acknowledges
that different types of relationships are affected differently by BPD.
In addition, the book is quite sensitive to individuals with BPD, and
goes to great lengths to be clear that people with BPD are not
intentionally manipulative or hurtful, while also addressing the many
challenges that BPD family members face.<br />
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<div class="adsense-slot adsense ads-half" id="adsense2">
<i>Stop Walking on Eggshells</i> also provides lots of real life
examples of the issues discussed in the book, which makes it easy to
read and digest. The sections that cover limit setting and boundaries
are particularly detailed and helpful starting point for anyone just discovering this problem with a loved-one.</div>
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<br /></div>
Critics of this book will say:<br />
<ul>
<li>Because the book addresses BPD
relationships with such breadth, many of the topics cannot be covered in
great depth, and end up feeling a bit superficial. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>The book draws little from published peer-reviewed research on BPD
families. However, this is in part due to the lack of research
available. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>The format feels a bit disorganized and choppy which can be
distracting and tiring.</li>
</ul>
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">A</span></i>
lot has been transpired since the book was fist published. A ten
year longitudinal studies has demonstrated the effectiveness of
Dialectical Behavior Therapy, the American Psychiatric Association has
begun the process of better defining / characterizing the disorder,
several books have been written that specialize on different family
matters, a parent, a child, working with a spouse, getting a divorce and
this specialization is helpful after reading Stop Walking on
Eggshells. We <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/content/book-reviews" target="_blank">recommend several books here.</a><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr01SLsCTsfiaRszfrG_UV0RicYrCGQ2m6tFDdKWswIBjYd73vAIz2TvYwALN_JeTBSb2h1FyNHFs0BGN0LKkNsDVI_EVxYN-sgZ3ot34yERlFa7lSo69VSuodulSbEv8uVd3-0qqXGpIT/s1600/51cGqUL0qqL._SY344_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr01SLsCTsfiaRszfrG_UV0RicYrCGQ2m6tFDdKWswIBjYd73vAIz2TvYwALN_JeTBSb2h1FyNHFs0BGN0LKkNsDVI_EVxYN-sgZ3ot34yERlFa7lSo69VSuodulSbEv8uVd3-0qqXGpIT/s200/51cGqUL0qqL._SY344_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" width="137" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Edition 1998</td></tr>
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<b>Author</b> Paul T. Mason, MS a program manager of Child/Adolescent Services and a psychotherapist with Psychiatric Services for St. Luke's Hospital in Racine, Wisconsin.
Randi Kreger is a professional writer and blogger. <br />
<br />
We welcome you comments below on either book.<br />
<br />
Author: Skip
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-6967143185576995342010-12-28T05:04:00.008-06:002016-08-08T04:49:42.016-05:00Leaving a Person With Borderline Personality Disorder<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUAenLygk7umKpW6yrVdVDJira6J8n_nuNy6i4KdxN5krn5x8a6zOB4uwdfHUr2fno4sbZWGL7hFW4ZC-_vjntomAXsGzZVJRGRKbUJPkHg81QXzf1y-p08X0Is4sKvnrUO3yzprSDd3Yu/s1600/frame_0_delay-0.2s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUAenLygk7umKpW6yrVdVDJira6J8n_nuNy6i4KdxN5krn5x8a6zOB4uwdfHUr2fno4sbZWGL7hFW4ZC-_vjntomAXsGzZVJRGRKbUJPkHg81QXzf1y-p08X0Is4sKvnrUO3yzprSDd3Yu/s320/frame_0_delay-0.2s.jpg" width="250" /></a>The beginnings of a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality
Disorder (BPD) can be intoxicating when your partner is brimming with
jubilation because you are in their life. Then inexplicable dark moments
of resentment begin breaking through the infatuation and your partner
acts in cold and even cruel ways. These extreme highs and lows are
commonplace in “Borderline” relationships.<br />
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In the most troubled relationships, it is not uncommon for a BPD partner
to unexpectedly abandon the relationship or do something so hurtful
that one cannot continue. Your partner may emotionally discard you or
become abusive - leaving you to feel oppressed and broken. Or you have
invested yourself in the relationship and all the latest communication
and relationship tools, but the relationship has eroded and you have no
more to give.</div>
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So they leave you - or you break up with them - or one of you finally
decides not to reconcile, yet again. If any of this is you, read on.</div>
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Disengaging can be difficult. Rationally, you understand that leaving is
the healthiest thing you can do now, yet your emotional attachment is
undeniable. This conflict confuses and intensifies your struggle as you
feel hopelessly trapped by your desires to rekindle a relationship that
you know it isn't healthy - and may, in fact, not even be available to
you.<br />
<br />
Often we obsess and ruminate over what our BPD partner might be doing or
feeling, or who they might be seeing. We wonder if they ever really
loved us and how we could be so easily discarded. Our emotions range
between hurt, disbelief, and anger.<br />
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This guide explores the struggles of breaking away from a partner with
borderline personality disorder and offers suggestions on how you can
make it easier on yourself and your partner.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Breaking Up Was Never this Hard</span><br />
<br />
Is it because they are so special? Sure they are special and this is a
very significant loss for you - but the depth of your struggles has a
lot more to do with the complexity of the relationship bond than the
person.<br />
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In some important way this relationship saved or rejuvenated you. The
way your BP partner hung on your every word, looked at you with admiring
eyes and wanted you, filled an empty void.<br />
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Or, your BPD partner may have been insecure and needy and their problems
inspired your sympathy and determination to resolve. Doing this made
you feel exceptional, heroic, valuable.<br />
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As a result, you were willing to tolerate behavior beyond what you've
known to be acceptable. You've felt certain that your BPD depended on
you and that they would never leave. However challenging, you have been
committed to see it through.<br />
<br />
Unknown to you, your BPD partner was on a complex journey that started
long before the relationship began. You were their “knight in shining
armor”, you were their hope, and the answer to disappointments that they
have struggled with most of their life.<br />
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Together, this made for an incredibly “loaded” relationship bond between the two of you.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Ten Beliefs That Can Get You Stuck</span><br />
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Breaking up with a BPD partner is often difficult because we do not have
a valid understanding of the disorder or our relationship bond. As a
result we often misinterpret their actions and some of our own. Many of
us struggle with some of the following false beliefs.</div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">1) Belief that this person holds the key to your happiness</span><br />
<br />
We often believe that our BPD partner is the master of our joy and the
keeper of our sorrow. You may feel that they have touched the very
depths of your soul. As hard as this is to believe right now, your
perspective on this is likely a bit off.<br />
<br />
Idealization is a powerful “drug” - and it came along at a time in your
life when you were very receptive to it. In time, you will come to
realize that your partner's idealization of you, no matter how sincere,
was a courting ritual and an overstatement of the real emotions at the
time. You were special - but not that special.<br />
<br />
You will also come to realize that a lot of your elation was due to your own receptivity and openness and your hopes.<br />
<br />
You will also come to realize that someone coming out of an extended
traumatic relationship is often depressed and can not see things clearly
in the end. You may feel anxious, confused, and you may be ruminating
about your BPD partner. All of this distorts your perception reality.
You may even be indulging in substance abuse to cope.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">2) Belief that your BPD partner feels the same way that you feel</span><br />
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If you believe that your BPD partner was experiencing the relationship in the same way that you were or that they are feeling the same way you do right now, don't count on it. This will only serve to confuse you and make it harder to understand what is really happening.<br />
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When any relationship breaks down, it's often because the partners are on a different “page” - but much more so when your partner suffers from borderline personality disorder.<br />
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Unknown to you, there were likely significant periods of shame, fear, disappointment, resentment, and anger rising from below the surface during the entire relationship. What you have seen lately is not new - rather it's a culmination of feelings that often arise later in the relationship.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">3) Belief that the relationship problems are caused by you or some circumstance</span><br />
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You concede that there are problems, and have pledged to do your part to resolve them.<br />
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Because there have been periods of extreme openness, honesty, humanity and thoughtfulness during the relationship, and even during the break-ups, your BPD partners concerns are very credible in your eyes.<br />
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But your BPD partner also has the rather unique ability to distort facts, details, and play on your insecurities to a point where fabrications are believable to you. It's a complex defense mechanism, a type of denial, and a common characteristic of the disorder.<br />
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As a result, both of you come to believe that you are the problem; that you are inadequate; that you need to change; even that you deserve to be punished or left behind.<br />
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This is largely why you have accepted punishing behaviors; why you try to make amends and try to please; why you feel responsible.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">4) Belief that love can prevail</span><br />
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Once these relationships seriously rupture, they are harder to repair than most - so many wounds from the past have been opened. Of course you have much invested in the relationship and your partner has been an integral part of your dreams and hopes - but there are greater forces at play now.<br />
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For you, significant emotional wounds have been inflicted upon an already wounded soul. To revitalize the relationship, you would need to recover from being a wounded victim and emerge as an informed and loving caretaker - it's not a simple journey. You need compassion and validation to heal - something your BPD partner most likely won't understand - you'd be on your own to find it.<br />
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For your partner, there are longstanding and painful abandonment fears, trust issues, and resentments that have been triggered. They are coping by blaming much of it on you. For your partner, it is often much easier and safer to move on than to face all of the issues above.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">5) Belief that things will return to "the way they used to be"</span><br />
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The idealization stages of a relationship with a BPD partner can be intoxicating and wonderful. But, as in any relationship, the "honeymoon" stage passes.<br />
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The idealization that one or both of you would like to return to isn't sustainable. It never was. The loss of this dream (or the inability to transition in to a healthy next phase of love) may be what triggered the demise of the relationship to begin with.<br />
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BPD mood swings and cycles may have you conditioned to think that, even after a bad period, you can return to the "idealization". Your BPD partner may believe this too.<br />
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A more realistic representation of your relationship is the one you have recently experienced.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">6) Clinging to the words that were said</span><br />
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We often cling to the positive words and promises that were voiced and ignore or minimize the negative actions.<br />
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Many wonderful and expressive things may have been said during the course of the relationship, but people suffering from BPD are dreamers, they can be fickle, and they over express emotions like young children - often with little thought for long term implications.<br />
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You must let go of the words. It may break your heart to do so. But the fact is, the actions - all of them - are your truth.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">7) Belief that if you say it louder you will be heard</span><br />
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We often feel if we explain our point better, put it in writing, or find the right words….<br />
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People with BPD hear and read very well. But when emotions are flared, the ability to understand diminishes greatly.<br />
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Most of what you are saying is being interpreted as dogmatic and hurtful. And the more insistent you become - the more hurtful it is - the less your partner feels “heard” - and the more communications break down.<br />
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Your BPD partner will not likely validate or even acknowledge what you have said. It may be denial, it may be the inability to get past what they feel and want to say, or it may even be payback.<br />
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This is one of the most difficult aspects of breaking up - there is no closure.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">8) Belief that absence makes the heart grow fonder</span><br />
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We often think that by holding back or depriving our BPD partner of “our love” - that they will “see the light”. We base this on all the times our partner expressed a fear that we would leave and how they needed us.<br />
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During an actual break-up it is different. Distancing triggers all kinds of abandonment and trust issues for the BPD partner (as described in #4).<br />
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People with BPD also have real object constancy issues - “out of sight is out of mind”. They may feel, after two weeks of separation, the same way you would feel after six.<br />
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Absence generally makes the heart grow colder.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">9) Belief that you need to stay to help them.</span><br />
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You might want to stay to help your partner. Possibly to disclose to them that they have borderline personality disorder and help them get into therapy. Maybe you want to help in other ways while still maintaining a “friendship”.<br />
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The fact is, you are no longer in a position to be the caretaker and support person for your BPD partner - no matter how well intentioned.<br />
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Understand that you have become the trigger for your BPD partner's bad feelings and bad behavior. Sure, you do not deliberately cause these feelings, but your presence is now triggering them. This is a complex defense mechanism that is often seen with borderline personality disorder when a relationship sours. It's roots emanate from the deep central wounds of the disorder. You can't begin to answer to this.<br />
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You also need to question your own motives and your expectations for wanting to help. Is this kindness or a type “well intentioned” manipulation on your part - an attempt to change them to better serve the relationship as opposed to addressing the lifelong wounds from which they suffer?<br />
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More importantly, what does this suggest about your own survival instincts - you're injured, in ways you may not fully even grasp, and it's important to attend to your own wounds before you are capable of helping anyone else.<br />
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You are damaged. Right now, your primary responsibility really needs to be to yourself - your own emotional survival.<br />
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If they try to lean on you, it's a greater kindness that you step away. Difficult, no doubt, but more responsible.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">10) Belief that they have seen the light</span><br />
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Your partner may suddenly be on their best behavior or appearing very needy and trying to entice you back into the relationship. You, hoping that they are finally seeing things your way or really needing you, may venture back in - or you may struggle mightily to stay away.<br />
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What is this all about?<br />
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Well, at the end of any relationship there can be a series of break-ups and make-ups - disengaging is often a process, not an event.<br />
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However when this process becomes protracted, it becomes toxic. At the end of a BP relationship, this can happen. The emotional needs that fueled the relationship bond initially, are now fueling a convoluted disengagement as one or both partners struggle against their deep enmeshment with the other and their internal conflicts about the break up.<br />
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Either partner may go to extremes to reunite - even use the threat of suicide to get attention and evoke sympathies.<br />
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Make no mistake about what is happening. Don't be lulled into believing that the relationship is surviving or going through a phase. At this point, there are no rules. There are no clear loyalties. Each successive break-up increases the dysfunction of relationship and the dysfunction of the partners individually - and opens the door for very hurtful things to happen.<br />
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Author: Skip Unknownnoreply@blogger.com89tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-57995586083317564862010-12-13T07:07:00.022-06:002016-08-08T01:20:00.671-05:00Do people with Borderline Personality Disorder lack of Empathy?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To show empathy is to identify with another person’s feelings. Empathy is a sophisticated human response.</span></i></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It begins with awareness of another person's feelings. It would be easier to be aware of other people's emotions if they would simply tell us how they felt. But since most people do not, we must resort to asking questions, reading between the lines, guessing, and trying to interpret non-verbal cues. Emotionally expressive people are easiest to read because their eyes and faces are constantly letting us know how they are feeling.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once we are aware of another persons feelings, we briefly imagine ourselves in their place - feel what they feel - and then respond to them in ways that would comfort us. This requires great deal of emotional maturity.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When Do Our Empathy Skills Fail</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Having empathy isn't so easy when we are in a distraught emotional state ourselves. It can be hard to give when we are needy. We have all been there at times. Showing empathy isn't so easy when the person we are trying to comfort is having an experience we can't relate to - either in terms of noticing it or it terms of how to respond to it. We have all found ourselves in this situation at times.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A Person With BPD Fails for the Same Reasons as We Do</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Having empathy isn't so easy when one is in a distraught emotional state</span></i>. Keep in mind that BPD sufferers are often flooded with conflicted and painful emotions. During times of dysregulation, an emotional response that is more intense than normal, Borderline Personality sufferers can be so overwhelmed with emotion that makes them, at worst, incapable fo normal functioning , and at best, internally focused, self centered and self absorbed. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Often a person with BPD doesn’t have emotional energy to spare to consider the emotions of others.</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"> </span></span></i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Showing empathy isn't so easy when it's an experience we can't relate to.</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> People suffering from BPD have a problem with poor emotional vocabularies, meaning they find it hard to label and understand - their own feelings - let alone understand others. This inability to understand or accept their own feelings leads to feelings of confusion, shame and self hatred, one of the defining traits of a BPD sufferer. Additionally, a person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder is often not very kind to themselves. They often comfort themselves by dysfunctional means - cutting and self injury are a good examples of dysfunctional soothing. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Even worse, if a pwBPD perceives they are being attacked or criticized by our pain and suffering, or that there is even the possibility of being attacked, their defenses may go into over drive and the attack rather than empathize.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What Can We Do?</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being hurt and defensive doesn't help.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being the target of someones dysregulation (which can often feel irrational and unjustified) is painful. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And while the natural reaction is to become defensive – this takes us further from receiving the empathy we desired or need. This is why independent support is very important to individuals in relationships with people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">BPD is a true mental disorder. A person with this disorder often can't be empathetic. We need to recognize this and find comfort elsewhere.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If we see that the person with BPD can't respond appropriately we need to just step away - let it go - find support in another way. Family, friends, and support groups are very important for those in a relationship with a person suffering from this disorder.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Do We Need to be Show Empathy for the Person with BPD?</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When we try to understand others behaviors from a logical standpoint, we are judging our loved one based on how we believe they “should” perceive. This focus on “logic” leads to the conclusion that the pwBPD "should" be able to do better. Believing these “should’s” prevents us from full acceptance that our loved one is mentally ill. But, lets face it, it’s hard to comprehend how someone’s emotions can get in the way . </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A recent study at Harvard Medical school using brain scanning to analyze how anger is processed, demonstrated that people who were depressed had a decrease in blood flow to critical areas of the brain, reducing their inhibitions and interfering with their ability to consider the consequences of their actions. They experienced what researchers described as a double hit, “A decrease in blood flow to these areas of the brain reduces both their ability to control impulsive acts and their feelings about the consequences of those acts, say punching someone in the mouth. There is both a lack of emotion and a lack of control. A double hit that adds up to inappropriate, even violent rage.” </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Someone who suffers from BPD is constantly on the alert for any possible invalidation. Even the slightest criticism or hint of rejection hurts them and drives them into defense and attack mode. They become hyper vigilant to any possible threats (often making mountains out of molehills in the process) as a defensive measure to protect themselves. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Until we can accept this, we won't be able to adjust and make our lives and theirs less chaotic and hurtful.</span><br />
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Authors: Skip and United for Now <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-55161757635041369432010-12-06T13:19:00.007-06:002016-08-08T01:20:25.345-05:00Do You Have Healthy Boundaries?<a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php">bpdfamily.com</a> reminds us of the importance of honoring our own values.<br />
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<a href="http://bpdfamily.com/images/blog/images/m4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>Everyone has a personal code of values. We all have codes with respect to finances, romance, parenting, lifestyle preferences, personal safety and faith. <b>Boundaries</b> are what we communicate as reasonable and permissible ways for other people to behave around us and not violate our code. For example, a recovering alcoholic may communicate that he doesn't want to participate in group events involving alcohol or a women may communicate the she doesn't want any time of physical touching during an argument. </div>
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Many of us believe one thing but communicate or signal something very different and are then hurt when our boundaries are not respected. This can be a particular problem when a loved one has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD often have poor judgment with respect to others.</div>
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<b><a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.msg581650#msg581650">Defending our Boundaries </a></b></div>
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To defend our boundaries, we must be clear about our own values, we must communicate them to others, we must conduct ourselves in way that other see our commitment to our values, and we must respond when someone crosses over our limits.<br />
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When we respect and defend our boundaries it is a sign of <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=111417.msg1093550#msg1093550">healthy self care.</a> For example, it's not enough to tell others that drinking and driving is bad. We must never let others see us drink and drive. We must never ride with others who have been drinking. It is the power to say “no” and the strength to stand behind it. Defining, communicating, being a role model, and defending boundaries is how we protect ourselves so that we aren’t hurt or taken advantage of. <br />
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Unfortunately, many of us don’t do this well and allows others to take advantage of us or harm us in some very painful ways. While there are a variety of possible reasons, many based on a <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=66672.msg640091#msg640091">low sense of self esteem</a>, there are times when our inability to stand by our boundaries is based on fear. We fear the consequences if we say “no” or we are just too worn out from what seems like a constant battle, so we give in. <br />
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If your gut clenches up at the thought of defending a boundary, then it is possible that your fears are actually preventing you from taking care of yourself. How? If you fear a person’s anger more than you fear riding in the car with someone who’s been drinking, then your honor them is more than you honor yourself. If you fear stating your boundaries, then you allowing someone else to determine what you need or deserve. Essentially, your fears are allowing others to manipulate and control you. </div>
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Sheer exhaustion can also weaken your ability to have boundaries. Example, your young teenager nags and nags and nags you to lend them the money and to give them permission to attend a concert (which runs way past curfew, and which isn’t intended for young kids), <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=85479.msg847610#msg847610">till you finally just give in</a>. Your spouse wants to go on a fancy vacation way beyond your budget. After months of badgering, ridiculing, and nagging, you <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=85479.msg847610#msg847610">finally agree to go</a> – even though you aren’t sure how you will pay for it. By giving in you are taking the path of least resistance and getting some relief from the pressure the other person has placed on you with their constant pushing and badgering. You are also signaling to them that you don't really have a boundary, guaranteeing that they will use the same tactic the next time they want something from you. <br />
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To overcome a fear based aversion to defending boundaries, you must first admit to them. Admitting that you are afraid of someone’s reaction can help you examine your fears, which is the next step – analyzing what you fear – someone’s anger. To reduce and control your fears, you need to analyze and dissect them. Are they based on distortions or will you really be killed if you are late coming home? If they are based on threats you’ve been told, is the threat of their anger worse than the fear of dying? Do you believe the person would actually follow through on their threats? Can you face that threat and follow it through to it’s logical conclusion – and envision how you would cope if it came true? Would you be able to survive? What are you realistic options? Facing your fears and making plans removes a lot of the power they have over you. <br />
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If sheer exhaustion is wearing you down, then you need to practice<a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=112473.msg1105451#msg1105451"> better self care. </a>Just like when your body is wore down it is more susceptible to getting sick, so is your emotional strength wore down when it feels drained and empty. Making the time to do things for yourself is critical to help balance out your emotional strength. This could take the form of getting some alone time, meeting with supportive friends or family members, engaging in activities that rejuvenate you, or getting some personal therapy to help you with rebuilding your inner strength. Essentially, the better we feel about ourselves the easier it is to withstand stressful situations and the pressure others place on us.<br />
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The bottom line - if you don't believe in your code of values - no one will.<br />
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<b><a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.msg581650#msg581650">Examples of Boundaries </a></b><br />
<ul>
<li>Demarcation of where you end and another begins and where you begin and another ends. </li>
<li>Limit or line over which you will not allow anyone to cross because of the negative impact of its being crossed in the past.</li>
<li>Established set of limits over your physical and emotional well-being which you expect others to respect in their relationship with you.</li>
<li>Emotional and physical space you need in order to be the real you without the pressure from others to be something that you are not.</li>
<li>Healthy emotional and physical distance you can maintain between you and another so that you do not become overly enmeshed and/or dependent.</li>
<li>Balanced emotional and physical limits set on interacting with another so that you can achieve an interdependent relationship of independent beings who do not lose their personal identity, uniqueness and autonomy in the process.</li>
<li>Set of parameters which make you a unique, autonomous and free individual who has the freedom to be a creative, original, idiosyncratic problem solver.</li>
</ul>
Authors: United for Now, Skip <br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4185469775484074649.post-85816914581633016892010-11-08T08:20:00.009-06:002016-08-08T01:20:49.092-05:00Childhood sexual abuse more than doubles the likelihood of developing psychosis<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh20wfO0OEDYfqUrN1Z95aoe6V7E_sfMqQl2qPeqyF3gzYvuTC9ubrhS7ANqI6RKowS2ix0QUXJjEPAMQrMpJFqImGWX7eKfeIOyaQzdpshzMnyQsp0juXrS4YIdes8fXLcXHzDY4by5GWB/s1600/iaza1727839559400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh20wfO0OEDYfqUrN1Z95aoe6V7E_sfMqQl2qPeqyF3gzYvuTC9ubrhS7ANqI6RKowS2ix0QUXJjEPAMQrMpJFqImGWX7eKfeIOyaQzdpshzMnyQsp0juXrS4YIdes8fXLcXHzDY4by5GWB/s1600/iaza1727839559400.gif" /></a>BPDFamily.com reports that a study published in the November Archives of General Psychiatry suggests that children who are sexually abused may be at twice the risk for developing schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders.</div>
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In this study, Margaret C. Cutajar of Monash University, Victoria, Australia, and colleagues linked data from police and medical examinations of sexual abuse cases to a statewide register of psychiatric cases. They compared the rates of psychiatric disorders among 2,759 individuals who had been sexually abused when younger than age 16 to 4,938 random individuals. Over a 30-year period, individuals who had experienced childhood sexual abuse had more the twice the incidence of psychosis (2.8 percent vs. 1.4 percent) and schizophrenia disorders (1.9 percent vs. 0.7 percent).</div>
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This is consistent with prior studies studies that have established that abused children are more likely to develop depression, anxiety, substance abuse, b<b>orderline personality disorder,</b> post-traumatic stress disorder and suicidal behavior, according to background information in the article. This study found that a history of sexual abuse with penetration especially increased the risk.</div>
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Participants experienced abuse at an average age of 10.2, and 1,732 (63 percent) of cases involved penetration of a bodily orifice by a penis, finger or other object. Those exposed to this type of abuse had higher rates of psychosis (3.4 percent) and schizophrenia (2.4 percent).<br />
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“The risks of subsequently developing a schizophrenic syndrome were greatest in victims subjected to penetrative abuse in the peripubertal and postpubertal years from 12 to 16 years and among those abused by more than one perpetrator,” the authors write.<br />
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“Children raped in early adolescence by more than one perpetrator had a risk of developing psychotic syndromes 15 times greater than for the general population.”<br />
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The results establish childhood sexual abuse as a risk factor for psychotic illness, but do not necessarily translate into abuse causing or increasing the risk of developing such a disease, the authors note. “The possibility of a link between childhood sexual abuse and later psychotic disorders, however, remains unresolved despite the claims of some that a causal link has been established to schizophrenia,” the authors write.<br />
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Many cases of childhood sexual abuse never come to light, and the overall population of abused children may be significantly different from those whose abuse is detected by officials.<br />
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“Establishing that severe childhood sexual abuse is a risk factor for schizophrenia does have important clinical implications irrespective of questions of causality and irrespective of whether those whose abuse is revealed are typical,” the authors conclude.<br />
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“Children who come to attention following childhood sexual abuse involving penetration, particularly in the peripubertal and postpubertal period, should receive ongoing clinical and social support in the knowledge that they are at greater risk of developing a psychotic illness.”<br />
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“Such treatment in our opinion should focus on improving their current functioning and adaptation to the demands of the transition from adolescent to adult roles rather than primarily on the abuse experience itself.<br />
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“Such an approach should benefit all victims, irrespective of whether they have the potential to develop a psychotic illness.”<br />
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The study is found in the November issue of Archives of General Psychiatry, one of the JAMA/Archives journals.<br />
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Schizophrenia and Other Psychotic Disorders in a Cohort of Sexually Abused Children<br />
Margaret C. Cutajar, DPsych, MAPS; Paul E. Mullen, DSc, FRANZCP, FRCPsych; James R. P. Ogloff, PhD; Stuart D. Thomas, PhD; David L. Wells, MA, FACLM; Josie Spataro, PhD, MAPS Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2010;67(11):1114-1119.<br />
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Author: Skip <br />
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BPDFamily.com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by <b>Borderline Personality Disorder</b>. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. We welcome you to join our free 24 hour on-line support community with its nearly 3 million postings and grow with us as we learn to live better lives in the shadow of this disorder. <b>For more information or to register, please click here.</b> <a href="http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/Themes/default/register.html" target="_blank">www.bpdfamily.com </a></div>
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