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When a loved-one has traits of Borderline Personality

Monday, January 7, 2013

Avoid Creating an Invalidating Home

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In his talk on October 18, 2008 in Minneapolis, MN, Alan Fruzzetti, Ph.D. explores what it means to give someone a validating response rather than an invalidating response and how validating responses can be used to help a person with high levels of emotional arousal more constructively process their feelings, emotional dysregulation or personal chaos.

In this video, Dr. Fruzzetti explains the fine art of "validating" and shows us how easy it is to be invalidating.  He explains that invalidation is not necessarily abusive, mean, neglectful, uncaring or dyfunctional - it can be caring and well intended - but painful nonetheless. 

Dr. Fruzzetti recommends that families of a person with BPD also be in therapy as (1) it’s very stressful to have a loved one in emotional chaos and (2) it benefits the person with BPD when the family is part of the solution.

Alan E. Fruzzetti, Ph.D. is associate professor of psychology and director of the DBT Therapy and Research Program at the University of Nevada and Research Advisor Member of the Board of Directors of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEA-BPD). 

Author: Vivekananda

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  1. validation is definitely important..It is said that many people with BPD grew up in extremely invalidating environment, and I was raised in such environment. Intellectually I understand what is right and wrong, and I can't be wrong all the time, but I constantly doubt myself, my thoughts and feelings. It's a vicious cycle..

  2. At the end there is an example given about a daughter breaking a plant when she comes home. What would have been the best way for the parent to handle the situation? He described what occurs at my home but I don't know what to do with the mess made by bpd or how to "validate."